Archive

Lez Feminables | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Glitter Grrl

Becoming sexually active comes with a few physical issues, but it’s emotional ramifications that can feel like the biggest deal. This week is all about virginity, the loss of it, and why it’s only as important as you make it out to be. Is losing my virginity a big deal? People say it’s a Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by M and G

While strolling through the Octagon, M and G spied some eye-talian looking wicker tables and chairs between Ra Bar and The Craic. They curiously stumbled into Thistle like Edmond and Lucy into Narnia. The quiet café had a peaceful air with an enormous glitzy chandelier, polished wood, and Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Hannah Twigg

So, what comes to mind when you first think of genetic engineering? Crazy mutant fish with three eyes and wings? Mutated food that will turn you into half a plant when you eat it? Or maybe you think of evil businesses that rip off other farmers. Well, let’s clarify a few things. I wish I could tell Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Elsie Stone

We all do weird shit during exam time. If your study regime includes eating copious amounts of tuna and drinking five triple-shot long blacks per day, by all means, continue. If you spend this week’s grocery money on pens from Smiggle because frankly Bic biros are balls, I understand this too. We Read more...

Love Online | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Lovebirds

Hey girl how was your new years n christmas? HOpe u ddnt get upto too much mischif hehe Anyways im new here just having a nosey as im off work till 14 january so thougt id come here c if i can meet someone nice i could get to know n chill with have a laugh with, go for a drive at 1am to get Read more...

The Leek | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

In a startling exposé, conservationists observing the elusive Otago Scarfie have revealed that this species may be teetering on the brink of extinction. Results of an in-depth study carried out over the past three months have caused scientists to place Otago Scarfies on the “critically endangered” Read more...

Proctology | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Josie Cochrane

Proctology’s Hyde Street Special begins with a marketing student who attempted to gain work experience at Hyde Street after she ordered a batch of green wristbands online to sell for entry. Police were informed, intercepted the courier and subsequently delivered the wristbands to the girl’s house Read more...

Editorial | Issue 09

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Callum Fredric

As you may have noticed, the cover of this week’s Critic is adorned with the mugshot of a criminal. He probably stole some pharmaceuticals. Damn that’s a smooth segue. Let’s talk pharmaceuticals. Not in the context of ranting about Big Pharma and how they’re conspiring to get the world Read more...

Love Online | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

Tunnel Beach is Dunedin’s best worst-kept secret. It’s one of those places that makes every local nod if you ask them about it. Magically, though, Tunnel Beach never attracts the tourist hordes like St. Clair or even Sandfly Bay. The beach is located around eight kilometres from the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Jess Cole

This week, the ODT essentially calls a world-renowned vet a sheep shagger. Meanwhile, things were “heating up” (lolzz) in Cromwell when the volunteer fire brigade was pulled out of the pub to attend to a patch of grass. But the action didn’t stop there, with the Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! Last week we talked about how men’s members measure up, shedding some light on what an “average” dick actually is. And while, much like a Health Sci, we tried to dress it up in a lab coat and pretend it was medically relevant, it was ultimately a column stating “It’s not the Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, records and computers go bad, but the Internet does all right. 23 April 1564: William Shakespeare was allegedly born. The exact date of his birth isn’t known, because somebody in the eighteenth century wrote their records down wrong, but he was baptised on the 26th so people Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Glitter Grrl

Young people struggle with identity issues. Things would be much easier if humans were hive-minded beings of singular purpose (probably galactic conquest), but we aren’t. We are billions of young and often directionless moulds, which is why our Facebook “inspirational people” are actually kind of Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by M and G

2/5 Coffee Cups After the vodka, gin, jelly shots, scrumpy, Pulse, and beer of Hyde Street keg party, M and G needed a coffee and a pie to rinse away the regret of the day. Early on Sunday morning, they crawled into the car and drove around until they found themselves at the BP on the way to Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Bryony Leeke

It’s time for a column about evolution. Don’t worry, I’m not going to preach about the problem with creationism – that debate has been going on for years, and by this point most people know evolution is real, and a few will never be convinced otherwise. Aside from the occasional “Challenge to Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Elsie Stone

Lectures can be pretty dicey – they force a room full of strangers to tolerate each other for hours at a time. Some of us are happy, most of us are pissed off. Some of us are actually listening to what the lecturer says, most of us are doing more important things (like sleeping). The potential for Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Angus Restaurant / Moon Bar and ply them with alcohol and food (in that order), then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. if this Read more...

Failient | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Callum Fredric

The title of this week’s Salient was “Offensive?” The answer was a resounding “No.” Nothing in this issue offended anyone. Attached is a list of mild, inoffensive content: 1) Crass sexual jokes about Christians, specifically: nuns. About as edgy as ripping out Rebecca Black or the Westboro Read more...

The Leek | Issue 08

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

With a startlingly low nine arrests made by Dunedin police at this year’s Hyde Street Keg Party compared to last year’s 15, it appears that students have really cleaned up their act under threat of discontinuance of Hyde Streets for years to come. Or have they? After talking with the gallant police Read more...