Critical Tribune: EMERGENCY: Snow Forecast for Union Lawn Microclimate as 36 Tonnes of Snow Scheduled to Arrive this Thursday

Posted 1:34pm Monday 15th September 2025 by Petra Barfy

Panic sweeps through the University of Otago campus this week after meteorologists issued an unprecedented forecast predicting “localized blizzard conditions” for Union Lawn, where a sudden 36-tonne snowfall is expected to bury the area on September 18. The snowstorm, strangely absent Read more...

Critical Tribune: Breather attends a lecture in person and discovers he really likes it

Posted 5:20pm Sunday 7th September 2025 by Matt Hilda

“I didn’t really know what the bros were up to during the day,” Zack admitted. “They were always off to go see David, or Burns. Even when they said they were at Castle 2, I went over to the flat on Leith and the boys just told me to fuck off. I felt a bit left Read more...

Critical Tribune: The Most Insufferable Person You Know Becomes LinkedIn Influencer

Posted 10:29pm Sunday 24th August 2025 by Anderson Coomer

The sound of students audibly sighing across Dunedin last week was recorded as a magnitude of 1.9. This disturbance comes after the most insufferable person you know is now a LinkedIn influencer. Sora Noying, a fifth-year law and politics student, who is more commonly known amongst acquaintances as Read more...

Critical Tribune: University of Otago Reveals Rainbet Sponsorship

Posted 4:18pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Anderson Coomer

A University of Otago spokesperson, operating under the Instagram handle UoOslaps, has revealed a controversial new partnership with offshore gambling platform Rainbet.  In an Instagram Reel featuring a desk littered with paperwork, a leaked law exam, and printouts of boomer complaints from Read more...

Critical Tribune: OUSA Dyes Leith River Green In Celebration Of 135th Birthday

Posted 5:41pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Anna Marrs

Students may have noticed that the Leith is running more green than usual this week. The Otago University’s Student Association has poured gallons of green commercial dye into our very own Leith River in celebration of their 135th birthday, a move that some ecology experts are calling Read more...

Critical Tribune: LEAKED! OIA Reveals Otago is Legally Obligated to Hire Unelected Politicians

Posted 9:59pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Emails released under the Official Information Act (OIA) have revealed that the University of Otago has entered into a legally binding agreement with the Labour Party to hire politicians that don’t get elected.  The official document stated that the University was required to Read more...

Activist Rodent Learns What Neoliberalism Means

Posted 4:45pm Tuesday 13th May 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Thousands of people in the Southern Region were left without internet access on Wednesday 16 April following an incident of a rodent chewing through a fibre cable after being radicalised into an anarcho-primitivist agenda through a mix of “hot Leninist goths” and “Into the Wild Read more...

Breatha Exiled from Castle St Flat After Admitting, “I don’t fuck with DnB that much bro.”

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Alex, a second-year student, formerly known by his peers as ‘Fridge’ has been reduced to being known as ‘Champ’ in a turn of events that resulted in his tenancy being informally terminated at his Castle St flat. This follows a shocking admission, whereby Alex firmly stood Read more...

Vaping Students Used in Lieu of Smoke Machine for Ori’

Posted 4:24pm Sunday 2nd March 2025 by Tina Frowns

In lieu of an available smoke machine for Ori’ 2025, OUSA roped in a group of 100 or so students to continually blow vape clouds from either side of the Union Lawn stage. Volunteers (who the Critical Tribune has been assured were fully consenting) were recruited at OUSA’s annual Tent Read more...

Thing the Person Sitting Next to You in the Library Studying Looks Hard

Posted 9:19pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by The Critical Tribune

Oh boy, you thought your work was hard, you’ve just had a little peep at the laptop screen of the person next to you in the library and it’s completely incomprehensible. They must be a genius; they’re not even sweating looking at all those complicated squiggles and graphs. Your Read more...