A Wander through the Dunedin Night

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 6th August 2017

I walk through the small sticky red-orange streetlight worlds.   Goth Sloth hails, hanging upside down from his lamp post. “Oi mate, could you point the                  way to the Queen’s boudoir?” All the symbiotic algae Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 18

Posted 11:32am Sunday 6th August 2017

To start this week, Being paid to think is a fool’s game. I’m paid (in the unspoken affirmation of strangers) to insult the ODT, and loving it.   Next, the ODT’s wildest dreams have come true  All of our normal swans are on loan from the Queen. The Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Alchemy

Posted 12:39pm Sunday 30th July 2017

4.5/5 Alchemy is the perfect way to while away those rainy afternoons. Fun for the whole family, alchemy is engaging and easily accessible for all ages. The only problem is that it is perhaps too easy. Turning base metals into gold is a great way to entertain the kids, but it doesn’t hold Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 17

Posted 11:12am Sunday 30th July 2017

To start this week, the ODT has some good old fist shaking to do. Damn those youths, with their internet and their riots and their non-arthritic hips.   Then, a very serious story that is also inextricably funny. I think it’s because I imagine mushrooms the exact size Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 16

Posted 5:43pm Monday 24th July 2017

This week the ODT had a stern word with their neighbours about the recent noise complaints made during one of the ODT’s all night bangers. One ODT employee was overheard yelling, “You can’t go to the media, we are the media”.   Suddenly, something mysterious Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Burial

Posted 12:47pm Sunday 23rd July 2017

5/5 Burial is one of the greatest achievements of humankind, so great that once someone has achieved it they rarely feel motivated to do anything else.   Just consider what life was like before burial; we had dead bodies lying all over the place. They were everywhere: on the beach, in the Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Gunpowder

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 16th July 2017

Rating: 4/5 Gunpowder was invented by the Chinese, along with everything else ever. Lots of people talk shit about gunpowder due to its unfortunate association with guns. However, such an association misses the fundamental essence of gunpowder: it smells really, really, really, good. It is a Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 15

Posted 11:30am Sunday 16th July 2017

To start this week, the ODT is getting all down on optimism. The ODT gave up on its dream of being a dancer a long time ago.   Next, the ODT is worried. Deeply worried. It has lost its reflection. All it sees when it looks into the burnished bronze disk, the one that the Regions Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Fire

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 9th July 2017

Rating: 1.5/5 Don’t believe the hype.   It is far too hot, and doesn’t come with a warning. When I attempted to pick it up, it caused nasty pain in my hand. Later, when examining a manual (that I had to download illegally), I learnt that you experience this painful Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 14

Posted 11:20am Sunday 9th July 2017

 The ODT has spent the break deep in thought. The ODT is currently accepting submissions on the problem in the form of be-splattered tissues.   In other news, an isolated cabbage farmer struggled out of a nightmare in sheets lathered with sweat. “Oh no,” he Read more...