Top 10 Ways to Pay Off Your Student Loan

Posted 6:23pm Thursday 11th April 2019

Fake your own death and reinvent yourself in Greece. Learn advanced hacking, infiltrate the IRD as network tech staff and delete your account altogether. Begin your tuition in 2018 onwards so you don’t even have one, you spoilt little fucks. Have kinky sex with a member of ACT Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue 08

Posted 5:59pm Thursday 11th April 2019

Going from kinky sex all the time to suddenly single was quite a shock. I realised that I no longer enjoyed boring missionary one-night stands. This lead to me hooking up with a past ex who was having the same problem as me. It was a fun few sessions, but I knew I didn’t want to continue Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth

Posted 5:53pm Thursday 11th April 2019

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email blinddate@critic.co.nz     Mr. Darcy I had no idea what to expect. But, to build up some Read more...

A Critic Sex Toy Review

Posted 3:33am Friday 5th April 2019

Amore Sweet Bunny Vibe by Adulttoymegastore - on sale for $59.95 First of all, this toy is USB rechargeable, which is really the only way to go because it’s 2019. So, if you’re still sticking batteries in your vibrator, cease and desist. Under the sheets the sound was muffled Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 07

Posted 2:38am Friday 5th April 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, you are a busy worker and are designed for getting stuff done. The hive’s survival depends on you. This week’s turn on: tutor over your shoulder breathing down your neck   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Stars are looking good for Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue 07

Posted 8:47pm Thursday 4th April 2019

Two summers ago, I spent much of my time travelling overseas. This was my first time travelling alone in another country. With this came a sense of freedom; I could do whatever I wanted. As a gay man, my options are rather limited. I had never been in a proper relationship with a guy before, and I Read more...

Top 10 Ways to Be A Virgin Whore

Posted 5:51pm Thursday 4th April 2019

Wear studded leather, but wear it inside out to keep some mystery. Get some knee pads, you'll be spending a lot of time on your knees… praying obviously! Remember God's Loophole. If you're not ringing the Devil's doorbell, then he can't hear you. Duh. Have Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac

Posted 5:42pm Thursday 4th April 2019

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email blinddate@critic.co.nz     Notorious B.I.G. Okay, first of all my flatties put me up to this. I Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 06

Posted 12:50pm Monday 1st April 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Powerful energies will come from within you late in this week and you will give yourself bangs or a new piercing or change to a humanities degree. This week’s Amazon E-book: Unbelievable 100% Real Time Demo of Making 100% Gain Per Year from Stock Market is Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue o6

Posted 9:31pm Thursday 28th March 2019

Strap on your motherfuckin dildos because do we have a story for you. Back-track to Flo-week, my mate and I were ready to lower our standards and fuck anyone in a Patagonia shirt. Luckily for us, a group of our mates brought down a Patagonia poster boy for the week and you’ve never seen two Read more...