UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue o6

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue o6

Strap on your motherfuckin dildos because do we have a story for you.

Back-track to Flo-week, my mate and I were ready to lower our standards and fuck anyone in a Patagonia shirt. Luckily for us, a group of our mates brought down a Patagonia poster boy for the week and you’ve never seen two girls graft harder in your life I swear to god.

Set the scene; we’re on Castle Street after white party, and my mate gets a sneaky “wot u 2 doing” text. First of all, terrible grammar; second of all, yes.

Keep in mind, this was our second rodeo together this week and this man had a big storm coming. Got him back to ours, now to the sex.

Man didn’t know how to use his hips, but that’s okay cos he was cute af. Got thrown around from taking turns with him on top, to both getting hammered from behind, to our party trick; one of us sucking him off while the other sucking the ol’ testes. Works a treat, ladies take note.

Not gonna lie; best part for us was sitting on the other side of the bed doing shit all, having a wee break and checking Tinder. Then to the grand finale because this was starting to drag on and we were keen to head back to Castle. Hitting me from behind wasn’t working fast enough (good though, thanks babe), so to speed up the process my mate started choking and dirty talking me and it made him cum faster than Josh Smythe sliding into your dm’s.

You’re welcome for the “best night of your life”, love from your local non-lesbian lesbians xoxoxo

This article first appeared in Issue 6, 2019.
Posted 9:31pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Critic.