Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh Why?

Posted 3:39pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Ruby Werry

In an alternate reality, flocks of emu can be seen on the Otago Peninsula. Breathas are regularly in the ER after getting into fist fights with kangaroos on a night out. The Otago University Tramping Club has to brief their members on the dangers of bear and wolf attacks before any trip. While Read more...

Police Respond to Dunedin Residents’ Complaints About Noise

Posted 3:35pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Nik Ferit

Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and was written by AI In response to complaints from Dunedin residents about noise at student parties, police in the city have adopted a new, more conservative approach, involving specialised officers and increased surveillance of student housing Read more...

Controversial Councillor Candidate Cleared to Run As “Jedi”

Posted 3:33pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Denzel Chung

A candidate for the Dunedin City Council (DCC) is running as an “independent pro-freedom Jedi warrior”. Despite the candidate’s controversial political views, the Chief Jedi of Aotearoa seems to have given his blessing to the move.  Malcolm Moncrief-Spittle, owner of online Read more...

Last-Minute Motions Added to OUSA Ballot

Posted 3:29pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Fox Meyer and Zak Rudin

The upcoming OUSA Annual General Meeting looks to be a serious and no-nonsense event, not to be missed by anyone passionate about student governance and bureaucratic procedure. Current proposals slated for inclusion include investigating the Taj Mahal fire, extending breaks for students, mandating Read more...

School Strike 4 Climate Slated for September

Posted 3:26pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Denzel Chung

Almost a year and a half after their last swathe of nationwide protests, the “School Strike 4 Climate” (SS4C) is planning to return to Aotearoa on September 23. Organisers hope that this will be “the biggest climate strike mobilisation in Aotearoa to this day”.  On Read more...

(Inter-regional) Rail Me Daddy

Posted 3:25pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Keegan Wells

The Government’s Transport and Infrastructure Committee has opened an inquiry into “the future of inter-regional passenger rail in Aotearoa”, hoping to investigate whether trains could play a bigger role in intercity transport. And yes, this means a debauched winter booze train Read more...

Did Weet-Bix’s Stat Attacks Cause the All Blacks To Sink or Swim?

Posted 3:16pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Hugh Askerud

Shoppers were surprised and likely bemused to find Weet-Bix had released a new edition of their infamous Stat Attacks cards in the middle of July: timed perfectly to coincide with the All Blacks’ epic losing streak.  For those who have only ever felt the stale, joyless sensation of Read more...

The Untold Story of the Mysterious Castle Street Tagger

Posted 3:05pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Anna Robertshawe

It was a dark and stormy night, but the Re-O parties were in full swing. DnB raged, bottles were smashed back, students galloped around North D, fuelled by alcohol and a desperation for good (or at least numbing) times. A familiar story. That is, until one visitor from “up north” changed Read more...

Sponsored Money Management Book Given Away By UBS

Posted 3:04pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Denzel Chung

Full disclosure: Denzel is a member of Simplicity, who funded and sponsored Money Made Simple. A mysterious money-management book, sponsored by a KiwiSaver provider, is being given away with every purchase at the University Bookshop (UBS). Critic Te Ārohi decided to investigate, primarily Read more...

Conservation Heroes Buy 40 Boxes of Purple Gs

Posted 3:02pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Fox Meyer

This week, we got a Snapchat of some local conservationists supporting the endangered Purple Goanna. We reached out to these intrepid environmentalists to see what inspired them to make such big sacrifices for such little reptiles.  When we asked Rico, Angus and Ben how many boxes of Purple Read more...