Note: This guide aims to inform on safe sex practices with and between vulvas. Not all women have vulvas, and not everyone with a vulva is a woman.
Resources around STI prevention tend to focus exclusively on sex involving penises, even though STIs can also pass vulva-to-vulva (‘vagina’ is just the internal canal, while ‘vulva’ is the external genitalia including the labia, vaginal opening, and clitoris). Though there is no risk of pregnancy, there is still a real, tangible risk of STI transmission in vulva-to-vulva sex: studies on cisgender queer women even suggest similar STI rates as cishet women, and higher rates of other vaginal conditions too, like BV (bacterial vaginosis) or thrush.
This can happen through skin-to-skin contact or through the exchange of bodily secretions – like saliva or vaginal fluid – whether direct, such as through cunnilingus or tribbing, or when transmitted on a finger or a sex toy. Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, HPV, trichomoniasis, and BV can all be transmitted between vulvas. One or both partners being on their period also increases the risk of STI transmission. Since safe vulva sex can be overlooked and underrepresented, Critic Te Ārohi has put together a list of tips and tricks on how to have safer and better vulva-to-vulva sex. Don’t let heteronormativity get in the way of making STI prevention sexy.
STI Testing and Hygiene
Barrier methods are particularly important if one or both of you are menstruating, or if you have cuts or sores on your hands, mouth, or genitals (note that shaving can create microabrasions).
Avoid vaginal douching or washing near your vagina with scented soaps, which can disrupt your pH and microbial balance. Some vaginas are more sensitive to certain products, too, such as those found in lubricants. Though more research is needed, common vaginal infections caused by overgrowth of naturally-present bacteria and fungi may be transmissible from vulva-to-vulva, so use barriers and see your doctor if you notice abnormal discharge, even if you’re monogamous.
Always get tested when sleeping with someone new, and make sure to always use barrier methods like dams (see below) if one or both of you has multiple partners, or while waiting on your student health self-test results. Pap smears are also necessary (ages 25+ in NZ), even if you only have sex with vulvas.
Dental Dams
Dental dams are thin, rectangular sheets of plastic or latex that are placed over the vulva during cunnilingus to prevent oral-vaginal STI transmission. Whether you’re giving or receiving, both parties are at risk of transmitting STIs such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, and HPV. Dams can be purchased at sexual health clinics or sex shops, but unfortunately aren’t Pharmac funded or super widely available in NZ. Luckily, you can make your own! Simply take a condom, cut the tip off, and slice it down the middle so you’re left with a rectangle. Sliding it over your fingers can make it easier to see where to cut. If you accidentally pierce inside the rectangle, just grab a new condom and give it another go.
Condoms are a lot more accessible than non-DIY dams as they’re free around campus, and even available through cheap prescriptions from a GP. Plus, the variety in sizes, thicknesses and even flavours makes for ample opportunities to find a dam that you like using. Latex-free condoms or polyurethane dental dams are other great options for those with latex sensitivities.
We sampled some of the condoms most widely found on campus, and found that Gold Knight XL make the largest dams, Gold Knight Ultra the thinnest, and Durex the mildest tasting – though a bit too slippery. Student health yielded some chocolate flavoured condoms which were too yum, honestly. When using a flavoured dam, make sure the flavoured side isn’t touching the vulva and steer clear if you have a sensitive vulva.
Some good water-based or silicone lube can increase sensitivity when using a dam for the receiver, and is actually kinda awesome ‘cos no lube taste; plus there’s opportunity for a stimulating lube if that’s your vibe. A dam should cover the entire vulva, and be held in place near the thighs. You’ll probably need two hands – a good chance for a sexy thigh grab, or even to make the receiver hold it in place. Difficult, but kinky. They may not be widely used (yet!) but with a bit of practice, making and using a dam can be seamless. Get in the habit of keeping a pouch with condoms, lube, and blunt scissors near your bed if you plan on having a lot of vulva-to-vulva sex. After all, it’s just one thin latex sheet between you and patriarchal ideals of sex that left vulva safety ignored for so long.
Gloves
Hands (vaginal fingering/fisting) can still be involved in transmitting STIs, so disposable gloves can be used to further mitigate risk. Keeping your hands clean and your nails trimmed reduces infection risk during sex with vulvas – and is also just hot. Cuts or nicks in the vagina or on the hands can promote infection (especially with anal play), or more rarely the transmission of HIV. You can pick up bulk packs of latex gloves at most supermarkets or, if you’re super bougie, some nitrile gloves from a bulk pharmacy or online – they even come in cute colours. Just make sure to get ones that fit your hands snugly, and use a compatible lube if desired (oil breaks down latex). It may seem like overkill, but why not have some on hand (pun intended). Lean into that medical fetish/sensory play/Bond villain fantasy. But wait, there’s more! Gloves can also be cut into dams, which can include the glove’s fingers for internal play too, if you’re really clever.
Safer sex toys
Shared sex toys can also transmit STIs from one vulva to another. If you plan on using your sex toys on a partner, or a sex toy with several partners, ensure it’s a model that can be properly sterilised. This means keeping your Satisfyer Pro 2 to yourself as there are too many fiddly bits, unfortunately. The safest toys to share are silicone ones that can be boiled (or put in the dishwasher, if you hate your flatties) or at least fully submerged and washed in hot soapy water. Some toys can also simply be covered by a condom (e.g. a strap-on) for each new partner, which sounds silly but is an awesome lazy hack. Good thing you have a shitload of them now!