Moaningful Confessions | That Time I Straight Up Had Sex In A Zoo

Moaningful Confessions | That Time I Straight Up Had Sex In A Zoo

Okay straight up I had sex in a zoo, multiple times. I’m here to confess my sins of my wrongdoings to all of the animals that bore witness to these sexy times.

Anyway, my boyfriend at the time came to visit me in my home city and we went to the zoo, as you do when you're showing someone around a new city. We were running late getting to the zoo, so it wasn’t overly busy. Because it was near the end of the day, we only had a couple hours and the park was starting to clear out. That totally doesn’t justify this, but it makes it seem a little bit better.

Sex in public places was a big turn on for us and after a quick trip to the Tasmanian devils we got bored and horny. Our first stop was in a wee enclosure that was dark and had a walk through to view heaps of frogs in some glass displays. After the couple ahead of us exited it was just us. Good thing I was wearing a skirt too (I came prepared). Up it went and in he went.

It wasn’t for long though, because I suddenly noticed the frog enclosures were a wall and there was a zookeeper working on the other side feeding the frogs. Sorry Mr Zookeeper Sir. 

So then the next half hour was spent with one goal in mind: to find the best possible spot to have sex in a zoo. We went around the entire zoo and found many benches that were quiet for two minutes, but someone would quickly arrive and make us go soft. We stopped for a break at a park bench. I took my underwear off to make for easy access when the timing was right. So, there I was on a windy day walking around a zoo with no underwear on and only a little skirt on. Talk about risqué. 

After freaking out about where to fuck, we ended up doing it at the top of the massive tower that overlooks the rhinos. It just happened to be quiet and here we were out in the open overlooking the entire zoo, being a bit of an attraction ourselves my god. 

Then on our way out of the zoo we find some old style huts that iwere so private and so hidden away we were mad that we risked having sex in front of the rhinos. At least this time I got to finish (good thing I brought my pocket vibrator). So yeah, I had sex in a zoo multiple times and multiple orgasms were had. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk xx

This article first appeared in Issue 22, 2021.
Posted 4:22pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Critic.