Student Health to Offer Vaccines for 'Fresher Plague'

Student Health to Offer Vaccines for 'Fresher Plague'

According to Student Health’s specialist in Dark Age ailments, Dr. Charles Lorm, "it's all coming back. First it was measles, this semester I'm betting on the black plague."

The Tribune reporter had difficulty understanding Lorm’s next sentences through his doctor mask, but are fairly sure we caught the words “miasma”, “yellow bile” and “buboe” through his lavender-filled leather beak.

If you have the plague, Lorm reccomends 10 sessions of leech-based bloodletting at Student Health, which will be available for discount with a Community Services card.

This article first appeared in Issue 15, 2019.
Posted 6:15pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by The Critical Tribune.