Uncle Howie | Issue 7

Uncle Howie | Issue 7

Hi Howie.
I went home over the break and saw my girlfriend for the first time since coming to dunners at the start of the year (she didnít go to uni). It was nice to see her again, but itís made me realise how little we have in common now, and how much I really just want to be single and have fun at this point in my life. I know I eventually want to find my dream girl, but not yet.

Hi bud,
Itís important to remember that at this point in our lives we must simply enjoy ourselves. Many people fall into the delusion that their high school partners are their perfect match. This is often un-true. Itís often your shared experiences and memories that lead you to this assumption. When in fact it should be your make-up as people that keep you connected.

Get out there and have some fun mate. Many guys get criticized for having a bit too much fun with the olí clunge, but at the end of the day haters gonna hate. Do what you gotta do. If you find yourself sampling the smorgasbord of snatch out there donít be concerned. Your actions now will inevitably not affect your chances of someday find you soul mate. Whatís meant to be is meant to be. As Iíve always said, ďyou have to slay a few dragons before you meet your princessĒ.

Dear Howie.
First up, just let me say how cool I think you are. You fully look like a tiger dude. Anyway I need your help. See, I am an RA at a halls, and Iíve started hooking up with one of the freshers. Theyíre not on my floor thank god; but smuggling them in and out of my room is not going to work forever, weíre bound to get caught. I guess I could just stop, but fresher or not, heís a pretty good root. What the hell do I do?

Hi there
As I am sure your aware many of the halls have fairly stringent rules regarding fraternising with freshers, so I would consider calling it quits. Although this guy may be a real vixen in the sack maybe put him aside for a year until heís left the hall. Consider it a good investment. However, going at it from a completely different angle you could hire a room at the delightful Cable Court Motel on Cumberland Street and make a real go of it. At a reasonable $50 a night youíll land yourself room with total privacy with no chance of getting snapped by lurking hall authorities.


This article first appeared in Issue 7, 2012.
Posted 3:53pm Sunday 15th April 2012 by Uncle Howie.