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This week, the Proctor is high about Hyde.

Expectations have been set for the event to be smoothly run and for the vast majority of students to thrive in the buzzing human hive known as Hyde Street Keg Party.

Not wanting to expose any stories of past Hyde Street mishaps to avoid any encouragement of this sort of behaviour (possibly involving half naked, body-painted females sitting in his office after a hard day at Hyde), the Proctor has emphasised the change over the last three years through the development of costumes and music.

Those who go all-out on the costume front might be in line for a prize from the lovely Vice Chancellor, Harlene Hayne. So developing a cameltoe from a five-year-old’s superwoman outfit, or renting that stripper’s outfit from Peaches and Cream, might get you even luckier than first anticipated.

A strong message to keep an eye out for your pals is being sent. Make sure you’re on hand to pull their hair back, or if they find their dream boy/girl, escort them home before things turn messy on the streets, not to mention in the bedroom. By doing a good deed like this, it could save them from falling foul of the Code of Conduct, Police action or the chance of furthering a relationship with the boy next door.

As problems in previous years have been caused by “out-of-towners” and non-students, efforts to restrict the event to students have been made. Eager and underaged school students, who normally do not even make the effort to dress up, will be easily spotted amongst the mature and sophisticated university students. OUSA staff will be doing their best to nab these children in the hopes of preventing permanent scarring to their innocent minds. There are also similarities in the origin of previous years’ offenders. Hailing mostly from Gore, Nelson and Oamaru, these pot-stirring trouble-makers have one word in common that springs to mind. Bogan.

Knowing that students always want to push boundaries, the Proctor hopes to see these boundaries untouched, so that the Hyde Street tradition can be upheld and enjoyed by the majority, whose behaviour reflects the fine institution that we are.

Just remember: No glass, dress up, no violence, certainly no fires, and have fun.