Archive

Election campaigns reveal that none of these candidates is the next Obama

Posted 4:03am Monday 11th July 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

By the time Critic is being read by all of our many [several] fans, the by-election results for President will be final, as voting closed at 4pm Friday June 3. Based on the results, the relative success of the candidates’ campaigns should now be obvious. However, prior to voting closing Critic Read more...

High

Posted 4:02am Monday 11th July 2011 by Basti Menkes

University of Otago researchers David Fergusson and Joseph Boden have directed a statement at Prime Minister John Key regarding the prosecution of older teenagers/young adults for possessing marijuana. They have argued that although most teenagers are safe from the harm this drug can cause, Read more...

Drunk gets drunk for charity

Posted 4:00am Monday 11th July 2011 by Staff Reporter

Two Dunedin students lived the scarfie dream and made money for charity in a neat dovetailing of interests by deciding to drink for 40 hours non-stop for the 40 hour famine. The students warmed up for the famine with eight drinks, and then settled into a more reasonable Southern Read more...

Bouncing off the Halls - 14

Posted 3:59am Monday 11th July 2011 by Lozz Holding

I’m not a religious man. Magic and imaginary friends have never really been my thing. But I’ll be the first to admit it’s a goddamn miracle that no poor bastard has broken their ankle crossing the newly refurbished Leith Bridge. What was wrong with it in the first place is beyond me but Read more...

Tiny Ruins

Posted 3:44am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Georgie Fenwicke

Tiny Ruins is the artistic pseudonym of Hollie Fullbrook, an English-born/New Zealand-raised up-and-comer. Her eerie, haunting melodies have an insistence that renders one both relaxed and pensive at the same time. Eat your heart out Runga and Moa! Her album Some Were Meant For Sea is released this Read more...

Proctology -13

Posted 3:30am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The Proctor had some words of wisdom to impart this week about “planking”, a recent fad that involves lying down with your arms by your sides in weird public places and photographing it. In short; don’t do it. There have apparently been some students planking around campus recently, Read more...

Police institute highly realistic plan to arrest 30,000 for standing up at rugby game

Posted 3:28am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Lozz Holding

Many students are outraged, and frankly a tad bewildered, after hearing that the Dunedin police force are planning to clamp down on Mexican waves at rugby games in the new Forsyth Barr Stadium. The configuration of the new stadium means that in certain places the crowd will be less than six Read more...

Cagey Issue. Eggscellent bad pun potential.

Posted 3:11am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Kari Schmidt

A motion requesting that food outlets on campus stop using factory-farmed products has been included as part of the OUSA referendum, which has been open for voting since May 23 and closes on June 2. However, some students have expressed doubts about whether the motion, ostensibly supported by Read more...

OUSA wants a share of the COC?

Posted 12:17am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Lozz Holding

A motion is being put to students in the current student referendum that would see the 2006 motion that OUSA officially opposes the Student Code of Conduct (COC) rescinded, and would also void the referendum result of 2005 wherein students voted that OUSA should be in opposition to the Code. Read more...

Presidential Candidates Debate: Showdown of the Century

Posted 12:14am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

0.25% of Students Listen. The campaign period is officially underway for the four candidates running for the role of President of OUSA in the upcoming by-election.   Candidates are current Acting President Bradley Russell, Welfare Officer Shonelle Eastwood, Colleges and Read more...

Chronicles of Castle - 13

Posted 12:10am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Sam Reynolds

As exams draw nearer, more and more residents are being forced to join the fashion parade that is going to the library in Dunedin. The library is traditionally more hated by blokes than the fuckwit who invented the dildo. However, this year is different as residents don’t have the comfort of halls Read more...

Best result in a decade for Polytech

Posted 12:00am Wednesday 6th July 2011 by Staff Reporter

The Otago Polytechnic has achieved its highest operating surplus in a decade, climbing $2.26 million into the black for the last operating year. The surplus comes despite a difficult economic climate and a reduction in core government support for polytechnics in recent times. Chief Executive Read more...

New cancer research from Otago

Posted 11:58pm Tuesday 5th July 2011 by Lauren Enright

It is possible that a new anti-cancer therapy could be developed based on research coming out of the University of Otago. The research builds on the University’s earlier discovery that PAX genes, important in embryonic development, also allow cancer cells to grow and divide in adult Read more...

Robots to invade link

Posted 11:57pm Tuesday 5th July 2011 by Andrew Oliver

OUSA and the University of Otago’s Applied Science Students Association (ASSA) will be hosting their inaugural Robot Wars on Tuesday July 12. The remote-controlled battle-bots will be pitted against one another in a duel to the death for a winner-takes-all prize of at least $250, according to Read more...

Lawrence Arabia

Posted 11:44pm Monday 30th May 2011 by Georgie Fenwicke

Lawrence Arabia is not Arabic. He's more of the European Caucasian variety, hailing from that most shaky of South Island centres, Christchurch. In fact, his name isn't even Lawrence. It's James. James Milne. He produces some pretty kick-ass beats though, and is putting some more together for our Read more...

OUSA Student Forum mobbed by capacity crowd of politically-informed students. Lol.

Posted 5:00am Monday 30th May 2011 by Teuila Fuatai

Last Tuesday OUSA held its first student forum of 2011. Eight motions were discussed, all of which are to be put to online referendum between May 23 and June 2. Included in the referendum will be motions addressing amendments to the OUSA constitution, the Code of Student Conduct and interest free Read more...

Dodgy Dude gets Double Downed

Posted 4:56am Monday 30th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Police have praised two Otago students for their quick actions in apprehending a man lurking around their community. Critic understands that the 49 year old was caught masturbating over a girl getting changed through the window. Sam Howie and Henry Caulton chased the man in the early hours of Read more...

Graduation speech didn’t fly?

Posted 4:49am Monday 30th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The graduation address given by Air New Zealand senior manager Vanessa Stoddart at the May 15 ceremony has been criticised by many of those present, with some attendees claiming the speech was more of an Air New Zealand promotion than an inspiration to the graduates. Stoddart, an Otago law and Read more...

Execrable - 12

Posted 4:43am Monday 30th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Tuesday’s Exec meeting was a lengthy one, and to make matters worse the temperature of the room was conducive only to freezing the balls off a brass monkey. Luckily Critic was put in charge of ordering pizza partway into the ordeal, which significantly increased our tolerance for boring Exec stuff. Read more...

Student loan system plundered like Scandinavian township in Viking times

Posted 7:53am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte

The 2011 Budget announcement has slashed student loan and allowance entitlements, as the government tightens the collective belt in an effort to get New Zealand to stop bleeding money like a drunk in Vegas. As expected, borrowing for over 55s is to be restricted to course fees only, and borrowing Read more...

University appoints new Deputy Vice-Chancellor

Posted 7:48am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Staff Reporter

Critic waited for a hole to appear in our briefs page before reporting that the University of Otago has appointed a new Deputy Vice Chancellor to replace the newly announced Vice-Chancellor Harlene Hayne. Professor Richard Blaikie, currently a a Professor at the University of Canterbury and Read more...

Kidnapped by Mickey

Posted 7:47am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Hana Aoake

Despite being at the bottom of the world, Otago students are attracting attention from the wonderful world of Disney. Last Monday Disney World recruiters visited Burns (the Arts building) to promote their range of Florida-based work programmes. Disney recruiters visited the University for the Read more...

“Double Down” Burger = Double Workload for KFC Staff

Posted 7:46am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Basti Menkes

Employees of KFC have said that the introduction of the bun-less Double Down Burger has greatly increased their workload and created tension in their restaurants. The new limited-edition burger consists of "bacon, two different kinds of melted cheese, and the Colonel’s 'secret' Read more...

Bouncing off the Halls - 12

Posted 7:43am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Lozz Holding

Freshers are hated by everyone at university, there is no arguing that. Cruelly no freshers understand why this is at the moment, but don’t worry my young squires; it will all make sense next year. To be honest, I don’ t really know exactly why we all hate you, but rest assured we can all spot a Read more...

Blackboard misuse rampant. Critic happy as makes good filler story.

Posted 7:41am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte

Critic’s continued coverage of nonsense filler stories relating to students sending silly messages on the Blackboard email system has sparked further silly messages, resulting in Critic writing another filler story. Aware of - but ultimately unconcerned by - the self-perpetuating cycle of lowest Read more...

Exec votes on Planet Media Review recommendations, results still unclear

Posted 7:39am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The OUSA Executive has asked the Planet Media Review Panel to revisit the majority of its findings, including recommendations that Critic and Radio 1 be immediately absorbed under the OUSA umbrella. At a meeting just over a week ago, the Executive officially considered the recommendations Read more...

Michael Woodhouse

Posted 5:58am Thursday 26th May 2011 by Georgie Fenwicke

He recounted tales of his working days. He left school and worked for a bank on George St, flatted where the National Bank is now and played professional rugby on his O.E in Scotland. Returning to Dunedin at 25, he studied for a Bachelor of Commerce in Accounting. Following on from that, he did his Read more...

Proctology -11

Posted 8:27am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Despite the Proctor telling Critic that statistics would indicate that the standard of student behaviour is going up, a number of youthful delinquents around campus are still keeping him in a job. In a rare example of female misconduct, a flat of girls have been using a neighbouring Read more...

Otago finally ranked top at something other than couch fires per head of population

Posted 8:24am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Andrew Oliver

The University of Otago’s Oceanography Department has been ranked number one in the world according to a global ranking of oceanographic institutions published in the UK magazine Times Higher Education. The rankings were compiled by Thomson Reuters’ Essential Science Indicators and cover the period Read more...

Like a rat from a sinking ship…

Posted 8:22am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan has resigned mid way through her second year in the role, leaving the association without a President and a permanent General Manager with the prospect of Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) looming. Geoghegan told Critic that a combination of factors had led to her Read more...

University skips foreplay, goes straight to rough penetration

Posted 8:20am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte with reporting by Lozz Holding

The University of Otago Property Services division is prevaricating like a motherfucker when deciding whether or not to boot some students out of their flats mid year to make way for a new Castle St day care centre. The prolonged saga can only now be reported in Critic after the University stalled Read more...

Execrable-ish

Posted 8:17am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

The Exec meeting was dominated by discussion of the Planet Media Review, which has the potential to heavily impact upon both Radio One and Critic (your fave magazine evah). A total of 33 recommendations were discussed by the Exec; if you can’t imagine how long that took, imagine nearly four Read more...

Downing the Double Down. Stoners Everywhere Rejoice

Posted 8:15am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Staff Reporter

After a frenzied storm of media excitement, KFC’ s infamous Double Down burger was released in stores last Tuesday. Critic was in such anticipation of this that we literally wet ourselves with excitement while waiting in line for our first taste of the chicken creation. The novel burger casts Read more...

OUSA to spit-roast students. Constitution style.

Posted 8:12am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte with reporting by Aimee Gulliver

Two different versions of the proposed OUSA student constitution will be put to student referendum on May 23 to June 2. The move comes after Colleges and Communications Officer Francisco Hernandez and Finance and Services Officer Dan Stride collected signatures from enough students to force the Read more...

Students mourn end of Air New Zealand monopoly

Posted 8:09am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte

Students expressed a collective sigh of dismay as Jetstar announced it was entering the Auckland to Dunedin domestic flight market from July 14. Many students told Critic that they were concerned that Jetstar offering flights to Auckland out of Dunedin would mean they would now have no excuse not Read more...

More scholarships

Posted 8:07am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Lauren Enright

University of Otago students have received a total of $34,000 in Freemasons’ scholarships. Postgraduate student Phillipa Struthers gained a $10,000 scholarship, and four undergraduate students - Yeri Kim, Leah Hamilton, Chris Bloomer and Griegan Panckhurst - all received $6000 each. Struthers is Read more...

Top Scholar Award for Otago student

Posted 8:03am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Teuila Fuatai

University of Otago student David Bellamy has been awarded the 2010 Prime Minister's Award for Academic Excellence as the highest-achieving secondary school pupil in New Zealand. The 17-year old Health Science student graduated from Christ's College last year, gaining NCEA Level 3 with excellence Read more...

Chronicles of Castle - 11

Posted 7:56am Thursday 19th May 2011 by Sam Reynolds

It was another good week on Castle Street, with the gossip queens having a field day after a lock in and a few red cards causing enough drama to deserve a place on E! Channel. But first some very sad news, as Stewie (a much loved little pig) has gone missing in a somewhat dubious manner. Stewie was Read more...

Robert Patman

Posted 4:53am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Georgie Fenwicke

What a week! Wills and Kate got married, the Breakers won the Australasian Basketball League, NATO killed Ghaddafi's son, Trump got roasted by Obama, Syria took out some more of its citizens and the US killed their number one enemy, Osama Bin Laden. Robert Patman is the Professor of International Read more...

Executive not happy family (apparently Critic are though?)

Posted 4:48am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Aimee Gulliver

Last week’s Executive meeting took place on Thursday night as Critic was going to print. Dramas, clusterfucks, and resignation threats ensued. At the meeting, Administrative Vice President Brad Russell and Education Officer Katie Reid moved a motion to send amended constitutional changes to the Read more...

Critic brutalised. Prison style.

Posted 4:44am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte

The OUSA-initiated review of Planet Media has been presented to the OUSA Executive meeting, with Critic’s present performance and future independence being brought sharply into question. The results of the OUSA-initiated review of Planet Media, the parent company of which Critic forms a part, were Read more...

Nation mourns as Auckland Uni wins something

Posted 4:41am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Lozz Holding

The annual University Games competition took place in Auckland over four days during the Easter Break from April 26 to 29. At least 2000 participants in over 20 sporting disciplines competed in the event that was nonsensically named “2011 Super City Uni Games”. Otago University went into the games Read more...

University of Auckland graduation drama

Posted 4:38am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte

The University of Auckland graduation ceremony of Monday May 2 got testy when university staff tried to prevent a graduating student from wearing a rosette in support of academic staff. Vernon Tava, a Masters of Law student, was asked to remove the rosette, which was identical to those being worn Read more...

Government shovels money at youth unemployment

Posted 4:34am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Staff Reporter

The government announced that $55.2million over four years will be allocated to a youth training program in a bid to fight unemployment. The scheme will pay employers in high demand areas a subsidy in return for supporting the training of young people and giving them employment. Employers would be Read more...

Alcohol Reform Bill

Posted 4:23am Thursday 12th May 2011 by Teuila Fuatai

According to University of Otago analysis, the Alcohol Reform Bill will fall short of having a significant impact on New Zealand drinking culture. Presently before parliament, the bill is designed to minimise the harm caused by excessive or inappropriate consumption of liquor. If passed, it Read more...

Bouncing off the Halls - 10

Posted 12:03am Tuesday 10th May 2011 by Lozz Holding

Most of us are here at uni in the hope of scoring ourselves a comfortable job, as well as a big fat paycheque, at the end of it all. Two boys from Arana, however, are not on the same wavelength. Forget a desk job; these two daredevils appear to prefer the adrenaline rush of adventure and the Read more...

Critic’s coverage of teaching resource misuse continues. We are not encouraging it though. Well actually we kind of are.

Posted 12:00am Tuesday 10th May 2011 by Gregor Whyte

The Blackboard dating craze predicted by Critic has partially eventuated, with BSNS102 student Sam Poulter being the latest in a short line of University of Otago Commerce students to misuse the online learning tool. Just after 1pm on Tuesday May 3, Poulter sent a Blackboard email to the entire Read more...

Obituary

Posted 11:56pm Monday 9th May 2011 by Hana Aoake

On Monday May 2, Dunedin personality Larry Matthews was found dead in his George Street apartment. His death came as a shock to those who knew him, and he will be sorely missed both within the arts community and throughout wider Dunedin. Larry was an artist, designer, poet, writer, magician, Read more...

Chronicles of Castle - 10

Posted 11:52pm Monday 9th May 2011 by Sam Reynolds

After the Easter break, Castle Street residents have quickly slipped back into the routine of getting drunk and doing drugs to escape the cold, damp reality that is flatting in Dunedin. This routine is broken only by the odd assignment or, in some cases, if it’s time to go for a wave. It’s a Read more...

Stuart White

Posted 5:47am Thursday 5th May 2011 by Georgie Fenwicke

The Legal Services Bill is now law. On April 11, 2011 it passed through the final hurdle of New Zealand's legislative process, the granting of royal assent by our Governor General, Sir Anand Satyanand. The act aims to provide legal services to those with insufficient means, and to deliver these Read more...