Archive

Critic Te Ārohi’s Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming a LinkedIn Influencer

Posted 9:46am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Critic

As students enter university, many (hopefully) age out of Snapchat, and are introduced to a new beast: LinkedIn. If you thought sending streaks was as bleak as it gets, the corporate world has blessed us by making its very own social media platform. The thought of scrolling through the achievements Read more...

Stories From The U-Bar Cleaner

Posted 9:41am Sunday 26th July 2026 by The Cleaner

Good afternoon Critic, I am writing this letter as I think I have some stories you would find interesting. I have been the sole cleaner for U-Bar for the last three years, and let me tell you – I have seen some shit. Being the cleaner has had both pros and cons, and now that I am Read more...

The Social Politics of Vaping

Posted 9:19am Saturday 18th July 2026 by Bella Bates

Few objects in student culture possess the same social utility as the vape. Simultaneously a nicotine delivery device, conversation starter, social bargaining chip, flirtation mechanism, and communal ritual, the vape has quietly become one of the defining artefacts of contemporary youth interaction. Read more...

The Official Moral Alignment Chart of Campus Doors

Posted 9:14am Saturday 18th July 2026 by Harry Almey

The University of Otago is a strange and confusing place. Open a sciency door in Mellor Labs and somehow find yourself in a History lecture. A BCommer opens a glass door in the Business School, and a Theatre Studies class turns around. University is little more than staggering from strange doors to Read more...

Survivor Player Profiles

Posted 4:27pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Critic

The cast has been chosen. Alliances will form. The immunity idols have been hidden. Over the coming months, the first ever Critic Survivor episodes will be released twice weekly as twelve contestants battle through challenges, betrayals, and any other chaos ourgamemakers choose.  But Read more...

The Many Flatting Zones

Posted 3:22pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Jonathan McCabe

As winter settles over North Dunedin and the sun starts setting before dinner, a familiar anxiety begins spreading through the student population – especially in halls. It starts with an overheard conversation. A rumour that some groups have already signed their flats. A friend mentioning a Read more...

Hot or Not: Trends of Otagooooooo

Posted 11:58am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Student culture changes fast. One week, everyone’s in jorts and shotgunning Cody’s in their mates flat. Next, they’re wearing quarter zips, training for a half marathon, and spending $14 on a strawberry matcha because it's “better for cortisol.” Somewhere between Read more...

TRIPLE TROUBLE: Student presidents CAUGHT living DOUBLE LIVES in BOMBSHELL INVESTIGATION

Posted 11:56am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Matilda Rumball-Smith

In a shocking display of coordinated corruption, OUSA President Daniel Leamy and Te Rōpū Māori Tumuaki Takirua Jarna Flintoff and Sami Harrison Dunn have allegedly fooled and deceived the hard-working student body. Critic Te Ārohi would say this is the biggest scandal to hit Read more...

Can You Resist A Scandalous Rumour?

Posted 11:46am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

1. You come back to your flat after locking in at Central for most of the day. Your favourite flatmate is cooking dinner, so you decide to hang out for a while. What is your chosen topic of conversation? A: You give them a run through of your day, no matter how boring and uneventful it was. B: Read more...

Literary Society x Critic Te Ārohi: Writing Competition

Posted 12:02pm Sunday 17th May 2026 by Literary Society

Somewhere Between Leaving and Arriving Phoebe Rodgers August, 2023 – Portland, Maine Mom and Dad don’t ask where she went. She observes the tide pulling out slowly, leaving everything exposed for a moment before it disappears again. Her hair remains in knots, she leaves Read more...

Leith Street Residents at Gloriavale

Posted 9:57am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Jesse Valpy

Gravel rattles underneath tyres, fog reaches out from hills Pulling us in, wrapping around Grey path yawns further, a vehicle rattles across cattle-grate Solemn eyes and fixed faces, children in back, adults in front We fidget, and watch, they watch, and disappear Back into the fog, as quick Read more...

How to Decode Politicians: My (opinionated) 6-step guide to understanding their bullshit

Posted 9:55am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Saraia Allais

"Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel." — Ralph Waldo Emerson The Merriam Webster dictionary defines a politician as “a person experienced in the art or science of government. Especially: one actively engaged in conducting the business of a Read more...

A New Zealand Celebrity Hit Me Up On Tinder At 19

Posted 8:14pm Friday 8th May 2026 by Critic

Critic Te Ārohi can verify that this celebrity is indeed a household name in Aotearoa. We’ve seen the messages, listened to voice memos, and seen the verified account linked to everything. We just don’t want to get in legal trouble by naming this guy.  When I was 19, my Read more...

Parental Invasion: Critic Te Ārohi’s Guide To A Flawless Family Visit

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by Harriet Gowing

Yay! The olds are heading over for a visit to our little slice of heaven. Here at Critic Te Ārohi, we have 101 years worth of uni experience, so of course we’ve got some advice. We’re here to help you seem like a functioning student, make the most of their visit, and actually see Read more...

A Critical, In Depth Investigation into the Soup Habits of the New Zealand Grindr Community

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Via Hooks

I set out to answer the question plaguing the minds of touch-starved homosexuals everywhere: what is the ideal soup to make for a Grindr hook-up?  You may ask: why Grindr specifically? And after you ask that, you may then ask: why are you finding out soup popularities from Grindr Read more...

People of Hyde

Posted 12:59pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Hyde Street Party is the best day of the year for any self respecting Otago student.  Hyde Street Party has become a sacred tradition of the student body. The thrill of putting your flatmates names in the lottery, hoping to receive that blessed email saying “YOU’RE GOING TO THE Read more...

Which Otago Uni Library Are You?

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Jesse Valpy

Because who wouldn’t want to know which study spot you’d be reincarnated as in your next life? Here is a quick and effective procrastination tool which will leave you reflecting on your life’s journey, and all the choices that led up to this point.  Before everyone starts Read more...

The Ultimate 4/20 Itinerary

Posted 1:14pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Critic

4/20. For an atheist stoner like myself, this could be my favorite holiday of the year (aside from Thanksgiving). It even hits close to home – the term “420” was coined by a group of high schoolers about 10 minutes from where I grew up in California. They’d meet up after Read more...

You Cannot Be What You Cannot See

Posted 3:22pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

When you think of drugs, your mind probably goes straight to the obvious – weed, party culture, the spectacle of harm. But the substances most deeply embedded in Aotearoa’s everyday life rarely attract the same scrutiny. Sugar, alcohol, and caffeine have been normalised to the point of Read more...

Critic’s Vice Purity Test

Posted 3:18pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Critic

The Critic Te Ārohi Vice Purity Test serves as a segue from O-week to what a couple of Critic writers think encapsulates University life.  It's a voluntary opportunity for O-week groups to bond, and for students to track the maturation of their experiences throughout Read more...