Archive

Student Did Not Only Take TOUR214 for the Free Wine

Posted 2:03pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Local student Danny DeVino is the first student in the history of the paper ‘Introduction To Wine Business,’ which includes wine tours and a wine-tasting exam, that isn’t taking the paper solely for the free wine.  When asked for comment, lecturer Chardonnay McGoon was Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 1:59pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Sasha Freeman

  Rate Lecturers sharing their political opinions. I wish school teachers had been allowed to do that. It’s such a sexy insight into their mind’s eye. Victoria Uni Students’ Association having consent bingo nights. Let’s bring that culture to duds x Writing Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Every day that passes is another day that you don't have a mullet. Just get one already.  This week’s beauty hack: Extra hard gel    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 This season is turbulent for everyone else except you. Keep Read more...

EDITORIAL | The Government Wants As Much Money From International Students As Possible

Posted 10:01pm Saturday 13th March 2021 by Erin Gourley

1000 international students are coming to New Zealand this year, but they’re facing rising costs before they even enter the country.  When the government announced the decision to allow these students in, it was all about the numbers. “The annual economic value of this group of Read more...

Landlord Said No to Pet Cat, But Possums In Ceiling Are No Problem

Posted 1:38pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Dunedin landlord Michael Moneybags maintains that the possums in his London Street property’s ceiling are not an issue that he needs to fix. Upon receiving a 14-day notice from his tenants to get rid of the possums, Moneybags did not respond. After a month, he told the tenants “the Read more...

Local Man Believes Kingfisher is Exotic Beer

Posted 1:35pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Local man and beer connoisseur Arthur Davies has long prided himself on his exquisite taste in beers. Shunning established New Zealand favourites like Tui, Steinlager, and Southern Gold as mere “swill” and “only good for my father to get drunk to before beating me with a Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Part 1: A Big Night

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by Critic

Queenstown. 2017. One woman. Three boys.   After a long day on the slopes, it seemed only right to indulge in a little après ski. The weather was hot for September and so were my hormones. We started the night as any fresher on a ski trip would, with a few cheeky bevvies in our Read more...

Dear Critic...

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by Critic

  My problem? Broken banjo string. Seriously. Thanks, Patrick   Hi Patrick. I’ve never played an instrument, but I think you can buy replacement strings in town at Music Planet. I’m not sure they carry banjo equipment though. Maybe don’t strum so hard next Read more...

Fuck, I Can’t Cook!

Posted 12:55pm Sunday 7th March 2021 by Alice Taylor

Post-O Week, students stand united by two experiences. Experience one is an immobilizing hangover induced by weeklong drinking. Experience two is the sinking feeling of looking at an empty bank account, which has also been induced by weeklong drinking.  When it comes to these dire times, we Read more...

Booze Reviews | Delete Whiskey Cherry Cola

Posted 11:32am Sunday 7th March 2021 by Chug Norris

Delete Cherry Cola tastes more like air freshener and whiskey than cherry and cola. My flatmate’s parents took us to India Gardens on the night I consumed the Deletes. I had been eating fuck all since the start of O-week so I had an absolute feast and was pretty full even after a long walk Read more...