Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Times are tough. You’re probably bored out of your brains at home. Try watching all your lectures and keep on top of things over lockdown so the workload doesn’t pile up.
Lockdown activity: studying with lofi beats
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Your emotions probably have the best of you right now. Try to stay focused, and keep your eyes on the prize.
Lockdown activity: walking to podcasts
Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
It must be hard not being able to answer those booty calls. Looks like it’ll just have to be you and your vibator for this lockdown.
Lockdown activity: cumming
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Now is the perfect time to be away with the fairies. Admire the birds by your window, bake some cookies and take in the sunshine.
Lockdown activity: Reading on the roof
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20
The only thing that should be inside you is some juicy Pfizer. Time to get vaxxed, baby.
Lockdown activity: book your vaccine
Cancer
Jun 21 - July 22
Use this time to reflect on the year. Some new awakenings may come to you in this time of uncertainty.
Lockdown activity: journaling and meditation
Leo
July - Aug 22
For all my leo men out there, hit up that beezy from a few weeks back. You never know what might happen!
Lockdown activity: finding love
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Love Island got you feeling lonely? No worries, try rekindling some old romances from pint night and parties. A little sneaky snapchat never hurt anyone.
Lockdown activity: binging reality TV
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Things are tough right now. Looks like it’s time for you to smoke some weed, abandon all responsibility and think about your place in this small and fragile universe.
Lockdown activity: have an existential crisis
Scorpio
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Try not to stress on the little things. It can be hard, but it’s best to try to keep things in perspective. Watch a funny movie, or wank off to try ease the stress.
Lockdown activity: turn off the news
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Your adventurous nature and hyperactive tendencies will not be doing well in such conditions. Try calming your restlessness down by finding new, non-erratic hobbies.
Lockdown activity: planning your 2024 Contiki
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Studying and working from home is your worst nightmare. Try to set up a solid routine, and don’t let your unorganised and irrational flatmates get to you.
Lockdown activity: practicing tolerance