Archive

Parents Bribed Uni to Stop Students from Returning Home: OIA

Posted 3:53pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by The Critical Tribune

The email from Otago suggesting Health Sci students who went home were “gambling with their academic futures” was a result of pressure, begging, and bribery from parents, according to emails released to the Critical Tribune. In an email that caused stress for many students wishing to Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 3:49pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Sasha Freeman

Rate Making a lockdown bingo with your flatties since you all know each other FAR too intimately now (e.g. Niamh asks how to spell something).  Going for a run, it’s such an event. I do my eyeliner for that shit these days. Beer pong practice, those sexy breathas won’t know Read more...

Booze Reviews | White Wine

Posted 3:47pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Chug Norris

Now of course, white wine is a pretty broad category. But there’s a reason I’m not distinguishing sauvignon wanc and presling. There is simply no way I am going to review every slight fucking variation of white wine especially considering that there are hundreds of wineries for each Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 3:43pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Times are tough. You’re probably bored out of your brains at home. Try watching all your lectures and keep on top of things over lockdown so the workload doesn’t pile up.  Lockdown activity: studying with lofi beats    Pisces Feb Read more...

EDITORIAL | An ode to Singstar, the very best lockdown activity

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Erin Gourley

Lockdown boredom takes you to some weird places. You cry at TV shows, get emotional about your no-stakes game of poker, learn how to play field hockey and hurt your back. I know of just one game that involves no pain, only fun and bad singing: Singstar. Singstar is the perfect lockdown activity Read more...

Crossword (Issue 20)

Posted 1:26pm Monday 23rd August 2021 by Ciara White

Scroll down for the crossword from our current issue.  Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Juicy Stuff in a Juicy Van

Posted 4:30pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Critic

This story begins with a weekend trip to Queenstown with the girls. Drinking? Yes. Lines in town which are shorter than two hours? Yes. Hitting the slopes while we’re at it? Big yes. Half a bottle of fireball and a full face of makeup later, we find our way to town. By this point, Read more...

Breather Develops New Pull-Tab Method to Open Cans

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by The Critical Tribune

A local breatha, Devan, has after years of experimentation reached a breakthrough in accessing the liquid contents of RTDs.  By pulling the tab on the top of the can, a hole is opened which allows convenient sipping without any mess or unnecessary brain injuries. Until just one week ago, Read more...

Dunedin Hospital Moves Geriatric Ward To Face Hayward College

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Following complaints from Dunedin Hospital’s children’s ward about seeing “certain naked activities at night” from Hayward College across the road, the Hospital has stumbled upon a win-win situation: moving the geriatric ward to face the hall of residence instead. Dr. Burt Read more...

Horny Singles in your Area Still Ready to Mingle, Despite Level 4 Protocol

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Critic can confirm that the plethora of lonely MILF’s advertised by sketchy websties are still “seeking company” in these trying times.  Apparently unaware of, or at least willfully ignorant of, the lockdown procedure, these charming ladies have not backed down from Read more...