Moaningful Confessions | Silent but Deadly

Moaningful Confessions | Silent but Deadly

Picture this: it’s a Friday night (or rather Saturday morning), I’ve had a few cheeky beverages and I’m messaging a hot guy on Snapchat. I swiped right on him on a dating app and we hit it off pretty quickly.

Now onto the story. I was surrounded by some friends in a very public foyer when he sent a very spicy picture of him jerking off and asked what I was up to. Not so subtly, I promptly excused myself to my room. In the time it took to get to my room he had sent me a video, moaning and all. I had not much else to do that night, so I snapped him back a pic of my boobs, naturally. We went back and forth snapping pics before I broke out my Satisfyer Pro 2, cos if I wasn’t going to meet up with him, I, at least, wanted to get off. Things got more and more heated, the pics and eventually videos got steamier and steamier. Bear in mind, I have flatmates on both sides of my room, and I could not be loud in any way and if you have ever used a Satisfyer Pro 2, you know that being quiet is quite a feat. Let me tell you something: trying to snapchat someone while using the Satisfyer and looking hot is a mission and a half. Shit was getting good, he sent a voice message and tapped right into my kinks. He steamrolled right into my praise kink and left me gasping. I was getting so close to coming. One more pic and an accompanying message and I was gone.

Then I found myself almost vertical, half on the floor, half on my bedframe. Wait, what? Coming down from an amazing orgasm and finding out I somehow managed to break a whole bedframe is not the best. I wasn’t even with someone; I was entirely alone and still managed to break the bed. Needless to say, when I snapped the guy back with a pic of my broken bed, he laughed at me. So did my friends when I told them what happened. Now came the mortifying part. Submitting a work order for the maintenance guy to come and fix it. This is the same maintenance guy that saw me holding about 6 packets of condoms and asked if I was having a busy weekend. He wasn’t able to come around to fix it until the Monday after, so I had to drag my mattress off the bedframe and rearrange some of my furniture in order to sleep on the floor. Of course, I snapchatted the guy the next day for a repeat. Firmly on the floor, where I couldn’t break another bedframe.

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This article first appeared in Issue 12, 2022.
Posted 6:23pm Sunday 22nd May 2022 by Critic.