Archive

ODT Watch | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Jess Cole

The ODT sought to get right amongst the spirit of the holidays, reporting on key Easter issues such as the number of New Zealanders who claimed rabbit, egg, and hot cross bun-related injuries last year. Apparently (incorrectly) assuming their average reader has an intelligence level Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Hannah Twigg

By now, many of you have probably fallen victim to the infamous Fresher Flu. With winter soon approaching, the last thing anyone wants to deal with is the (real) flu as well as the cold. The best thing you can do to help get you through, flu-free, is to grab yourself a flu shot. And before you stop Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Elsie Stone

This week I’m going to try to help some of you poor ignorant wretches out there who are embarrassing themselves on Facebook. We are young students, frequently engaging in shenanigans and debauchery, often vomiting in public places and having awkward sexual experiences – our lives are pretty Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! Weclome back! While home for the holidays, many readers would have gotten the “how’s uni?” and this week’s column is all about that question. Rather than the usual grunted “fine,” I want to get deep about it; deeper than a deep sea diver with a massive knob gets inside his Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, a masterpiece is uncovered, and science prevails. April 8, 1820: On a small Aegean island that nobody had previously heard of, a peasant discovered a statue that would subsequently become one of the most famous pieces of ancient Greek art ever. It is now called the Venus de Milo, Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Glitter Grrl

I don’t understand this gender/sex difference you keep going on about. A person’s sex is male, female, or intersex; is biological; and dictates the form a body will take. Wait! I know someone is reading this and assuming this means that being feminine/masculine is an inescapable fate! And you! Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by M and G

On St Patrick’s Day M and G thought it would be a fab idea to do wine before nine. With two pinot gris down and stomachs roaring they drunkenly staggered with the flat down to The Bog – a must on St Paddy’s. Stumbling through the door, their noses were assaulted with the scent of bacon and Guinness. Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 06

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Angus Restaurant / Moon Bar and ply them with alcohol and food (in that order), then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Angus Restaurant / Moon Bar and ply them with alcohol and food (in that order), then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this Read more...

The Leek | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

You’ve all heard of “fresher flu.” It’s the reason you can’t make it to classes/hand in your essay on time, and has recently been responsible for reducing the average number of lecture attendees to 3.5. Yes, we all fear catching the inevitable illness spread by filthy freshers crawling all over each Read more...

Kant Stop Husserling | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Erma Dag

Imagine you get a new job. You sit in a room all day with a book containing a detailed code. Occasionally, a piece of paper is pushed under the door with indecipherable squiggles written on it, and you must find these squiggles in your book of code. The book will then direct you to write a new set Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! Last week we talked a bit about STIs and, like herpes, that’s a topic that will be coming back in the future. For now though we’re treating STIs like Dexies and shelving them for a bit. This week I want to talk about a bigger topic. A much bigger topic: fatties. That’s right, Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, there is some very bad behaviour and a serious conflict about punctuation. 27 March, 1915: Public health authorities arrested and quarantined Mary Mallon, who is better known as Typhoid Mary, so named because she was the first known healthy carrier of typhoid fever. Because of her Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

If you feel like getting out of the ghetto in pun-tastic style, look no further than OUTram (get it?). This fine town lies not far OUTside Dunedin City – in fact, Wikipedia reckons it’s actually a suburb of Dunedin, despite being 30km along the road towards Middlemarch. There’s not Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Jess Cole

Ironically, given the ODT’s penchant for terrible puns, they found grounds to mock some other publications in their Weekend story, “Pig on a Mission”: Clearly gutted to have missed out on the opportunity to utilise any of the above hilarious titles, the ODT relegated this story to the Read more...

Love Online | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Glitter Grrl

Talking loudly and incessantly at people, sadly, can’t always solve some problems. Here are some private issues answered, so you don’t have to talk to people you actually know about your sordid secrets. So my best mate just came out, what if he has a crush on me? What do I do? I’m not into Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by M and G

Many of you caffiends may be familiar with The Fix café on Frederick Street, but you may surprised to find there is a hidden kiosk in the Centre for Innovation – the large mirrored building that you check your outfit in on your way to class. It’s a small kiosk with the same outdoor tables as St Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Bryony Leeke

If you’ve been to any of the cafés about town lately, I’m sure you will have observed the following puzzling phenomenon: the letters “GF” on various cakes and menu items. No, that doesn’t stand for “available on girl-friend bread”; those little letters mean “gluten-free.” “Of course!” you say. Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Elsie Stone

Mark Wahlberg once made an awful movie about Earth taking revenge on humanity because it was pissed off about global warming. So, every time a special wind blew, people everywhere compulsively committed suicide. I’m reminded of that movie whenever I see a Public Display of Affection, because the Read more...