Quiz: How did you get arrested?

Posted 8:34pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic

Oof, things are a bit blurry this morning. You’ve ended up in the paddy wagon (again!) but this time, you’re not sure how. Let’s see if we can piece things together: how did you get arrested? You’ve got a big night coming up, so the first stop is the piss shop. What are Read more...

What Shitty Student Car Do You Drive?

Posted 4:54pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Ruby Werry

There’s nothing that screams ‘student’ quite like the deafening, failing exhaust of a shitty car you love with all your heart, held together by nothing but duct tape and a dream. A key part of your personality, this quiz will determine what noble steed gets you from Burns A to B. Read more...

Why did your student visa get revoked?

Posted 7:42pm Friday 5th August 2022 by Critic

You’ve made it across the border, into the airport and down to Dunedin. Now that you’re in the filthiest Uni town Aotearoa has to offer, there are plenty of ways to get yourself into trouble. So, tell us, how did you lose your visa? QUESTIONS: What’s your ideal night out? a. Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 2:29am Saturday 9th July 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image provided by Paul. We got last issue’s submissions pretty much correct: Elias was “pretty much” on the roof of the Place Seffarine, Fez, Morocco.  First Thoughts: Well, it’s definitely a tower, and it looks all festive and fun. I Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 11:03am Monday 16th May 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by a Mr. Blanford, who said “sorry for the poor quality, I took this photo on the piss five years ago”. We got last issue’s submission correct, after about a month of crying about how hard it was. Shar was indeed at Ki Monastery, Lahaul and Read more...

(QUIZ) Who’s Selling your Data?

Posted 5:08pm Sunday 1st May 2022 by Critic

Fill in the blanks by answering these questions and finding the corresponding conspiratorial content.   Read more...

Insert fear-mongering anti-dope slogan here

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Elliot Weir

Ever wanted to stage, (and then lose), a poorly-thought-out war on plants? Ever wanted to spend millions of taxpayer dollars on a publicity stunt that leads absolutely nowhere? Ever wanted to disenfranchise an entire swath of the population at the drop of a hat? Well, then this is the quiz for you. Read more...

How did you get Covid?

Posted 4:42pm Sunday 6th March 2022 by Elliot Weir

Everyone knows that your current outfit and legal name can predict your susceptibility to viruses, so here’s a quick and easy way to forecast the future of your immune system. Colour of Your Top + Star sign + Third letter of first name  = How you got Covid Colour of the top Read more...

What's your NewstalkZB headline?

Posted 2:41pm Sunday 10th October 2021 by Critic

Favourite colour + star sign + second letter of first name + fashion decade = headline   Your Favourite Colour Red - ‘Outrageous’: Orange - BREAKING: Yellow - Kate Hawkesby: Blue - Opinion: Green - ‘About time’: Purple - Heather du Read more...

You’ve been hired to write a news article for Critic Te Arohi’s next issue.

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Elliot Weir

Your Birth Month January - Breatha February - Grange Street Flat March - MFCO lecturer April - Renowned stoner May - Nerd June - Wholesome grandma July - OUSA Exec August - Broke Castle Street resident September - Student journalist October - Environmental activist Read more...