Horoscopes: Week 11

Posted 10:20pm Sunday 15th May 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Please, for the love of God and your liver, stop abusing so many substances. Do you want to make it to Hyde? Instrument to learn: the banjo.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s time to sit and think about the next step. What does the future Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 9

Posted 2:51pm Sunday 1st May 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 There may have been some people leaving your life recently, but just know, you are probably better off without them. Onwards and upwards, my friends.  Conspiracy to research: Did the Crown kill Diana?   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Wreak havoc. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 10th April 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 This is for everybody going through tough times, believe me, been there done that, but everyday above ground is a great day, remember that.  Task to do: wash your sheets.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 The bigger they are, the harder they fall. This Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 6:57pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to fill your life with more wholesome hobbies to ward off the feelings of depression and loneliness. Try going to the farmers market, or knitting, or writing a book about how fucked everything is.  Dunedin sight to see: Cargill’s Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 6:22pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You need sleep, tequila, and the ability to learn what quiet hours are.  Breakfast to have: Greek yoghurt bowl.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces women are like Taylor Swift. Every time a man wrongs you, you just get hotter and more famous. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 4

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 20th March 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Sup baby, take me out to dinner.  Drug to try: The humble weed brownie.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Not everything is a metaphor. Stop reading into every single miniscule detail of your life. It’s just not that fucking deep.  Drug to Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 3

Posted 1:38pm Sunday 13th March 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, why be so hard on yourself? Life is far too short to continue to criticise yourself. Be young, be free.  End of iso activity: exposing your deepest and darkest secrets to people whilst drunk.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 I get it, you Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 2

Posted 5:28pm Sunday 6th March 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Keep developing that character and nicotine addiction, bestie!  Iso activity: becoming TikTok famous   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Sure, being funny is cool and all but so is addressing your deep rooted trauma. Maybe it’s time to check in with Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You’ve done a lot of personal growth over the summer, and renegotiated a lot of relationships. Remember to not beat yourself up about the past.  New Year's resolution: setting personal boundaries and not falling back into toxic Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 3:47pm Sunday 10th October 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Fuck your exams. Send it away, have a drink or 26. Don’t listen to logic or reason. You’re a party rocker and you’re in the house tonight. Summer activity: going on a three month bender   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Have courage in what Read more...