Becoming the Alpha Flatmate

Posted 3:52pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Sophie Hursthouse

There’s always an Alpha Flatmate. From the get go, it’s always about them, their schedule and their drama while the rest of the flat is demoted to peasantry. Never mind the fact that being the Alpha Flatmate is a sure sign of a manipulative, sadistic, and egomaniacal personality. Anyway, Read more...

Goops, I did it again! An idiot’s guide to stain removal

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Lotto Ramsay

Happiness is fleeting, we all die, and nothing is truly permanent. Nothing, that is, except for stains that you don’t get out in time (fuck you especially, red wine). O week is full of shenanigans that can ruin your clothes, soft furnishings, and possibly your future. Luckily, Critic is no Read more...

A Slam Poem Curated from Your Studentville Wifi Names

Posted 12:11am Saturday 2nd October 2021 by Asia Martusia King

Hey there. Nice Cock.   You looking for a New Flat with cheap rent? Head down to LoserVille: location, Gang land. Somewhere in the Alley on DundASS street, we have all the Beer Necessities you need.   You want entertainment? We got you. Fuck Gamers Read more...

Initiation Spills Onto Street

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 26th September 2021 by Fox Meyer

An initiation at the Leith Street complex turned into a pitifully-sized brawl during the sunset hours of Thursday 23 September. People abandoned their balcony and rooftop seats when the fights broke up, and spilled out into the streets when the music stopped. Three highschoolers watched the Read more...

The Politics of Flat Mugs

Posted 3:30pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Keegan Wells

Unless you’re a soulless robot, you have a favourite mug. So do all your flatmates, and they are different mugs. The politics of flat mugs are an underlying, unspoken rule amongst flatties in Dunedin. Conflict begins to brew when someone steals another person’s mug, or said cup is Read more...

Booze Reviews | White Wine

Posted 3:47pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Chug Norris

Now of course, white wine is a pretty broad category. But there’s a reason I’m not distinguishing sauvignon wanc and presling. There is simply no way I am going to review every slight fucking variation of white wine especially considering that there are hundreds of wineries for each Read more...

Is Noise Control Out of Control?

Posted 3:08pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Sean Gourley

Picture this: you’re in your third year of uni. It’s the end of February and you’re fizzing for a year of 21sts, grad celebrations and general piss ups. You move into your new flat on George Street, with an outdoor area perfectly suited for gigs. For pres on your first night you Read more...

Flat Dildo Stolen

Posted 1:22pm Monday 16th August 2021 by Runze Liu

A group of flatmates have given up hope their dildo will be found safe and well. They remember it fondly. The dildo, described by William as “about eight inches long, fluorescent, a translucent pink colour with veins going down the side, with no balls, a classically sized girth, realistic Read more...

Extreme Home Makeover: Make Your Tenants Pay For It Edition

Posted 12:51pm Monday 16th August 2021 by Denzel Chung

A recent Tenancy Tribunal ruling showed a landlord tried to claim $13,000 of damages from a NEV flat, but failed because the damage was only worth $4,000.  The landlord “did not wish the tenants’ names to be published,” so their names were redacted from the Tribunal ruling. Read more...

What’s (Still) Wrong with Freshers?

Posted 2:37pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Fox Meyer

Six months ago, we asked O-Week freshers what the biggest problem in their life was. Most of them said that their biggest problems were making friends, missing family, or other social issues. Critic hit up the line outside Union Hall on 14 July to check back in, and see if anything had changed. One Read more...