Roboscopes: Week 20

Posted 5:25pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Critic

We used an AI to generate these, but ran out of our free trial halfway through. You can see where we switched to a shittier free one.   Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Once you've put yourself in the right frame of mind, you'll be ready to start flirting up a storm. Whether Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 3:15pm Monday 15th August 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, you’ve been working hard, and getting your priorities in check. You are on the cusp of a new phase of your life. Keep taking the right steps forward, and keep your eyes on the prize.  Healthy coping mechanism to try: making your coffee at Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 17

Posted 4:45pm Sunday 31st July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 NO, don’t order that UberEats! Get the fuck up and do your grocery shopping. And buy some kiwifruit while you’re there. When was the last time you took a shit that wasn’t pebbles? Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Make the flat a Sunday Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 6:31pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Things are going well, aren’t they? The progress you’ve been seeing will continue so long as your attitude remains positive. Don’t get yourself down. Fun way to spice up the bedroom this week: Roleplay as the cast of Cars Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 12:44pm Sunday 10th July 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 If you’re reading this, it’s a sign to abandon all sense of responsibility and chase your dreams. Don’t let social norms confine you.  Re-O Activity: A skiing getaway.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Chances are, you’re Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 7:24pm Sunday 29th May 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Sometimes, you need to take some time out for yourself. Things have been rough, and you’ve been going through it. But just remember, there is light at the end of this tumultuous tunnel.  Exam de-stress: a walk in the botans.   Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 10

Posted 2:40pm Sunday 8th May 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 If there’s one thing you need, it’s self control. Make sure to check yourself and reel it in every now and again.  Artistic activity: screenprinting an old item of clothing.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Is it hyperfixation? Is it an ego Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 8

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 24th April 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Start living by ACC: always choosing content.  DIY activity: home grown weed.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 If there is one thing you need, it’s a break. Stop putting so much time and emotional labour into things that no longer serve Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 20

Posted 8:32pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Not being able to sweat isn’t a personality, Aquarius. This week’s fashion icon: Bruce the Neopet. This week’s fashion faux pas: Crimped hair.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Everyone shits the bed at some point in their life, Pisces. Read more...