All “Young People on the Property Ladder” Actually Just One Landlord

Posted 9:37pm Monday 26th April 2021 by The Critical Tribune

In a shocking exposé, it has been revealed that all media stories about young people buying houses were faked. A fraudulent Dunedin landlord was hired by the New Zealand Property Investors’ Federation to impersonate young Kiwis buying their first home by putting on a range of Read more...

Local Bar Only Offers Jugs to Highlight Sustainability

Posted 6:11pm Sunday 28th March 2021 by The Critical Tribune

A local taproom has ditched pint glasses, citing a new-found emphasis on saving the planet as the reason.  “By only serving jugs,” explained the new manager, Beerface McGee, “we can save shit tonnes of water on washing, as well as reduce the amount of glass purchased by the Read more...

Hyde Street Lad Revamps Wardrobe by Adding Second Pair of Jandals

Posted 11:21pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

Boomer Jenkins, a third year lad and resident at The Chum Bucket on Hyde Street, has announced a new look for the fall season. After blowing out his Student Life Jandals, Boomer invested in a slick blue and white pair from the Kmart $4 section. “I like to keep things fresh,” Boomer Read more...

Ed Sheeran Says Dunedin ‘Kinda Clingy’

Posted 9:34pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Mel Ansell

Ed Sheeran is reportedly “disturbed” by Dunedin misinterpreting his desire for a one-weekend no holds barred, no strings attached song-fest. He said he’d come to Dunedin making it clear he was only here for “a good time, not a long time”. It was unusual for Sheeran to Read more...

DCC Planning Controversial Merger with Comics Giant DC

Posted 9:34pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Critic

In a move that is angering fans of the local government authority, the Dunedin City Council has announced a merger with Detective Comics. “Nothing in the DC Universe persuades me that they have any respect for city councils,” said one die-hard fan of the DCC. “Their Read more...

Experts Confirm Grant Robertson Would Be Fucking Great to Get on the Piss with

Posted 9:35pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Critic

The Minister of Finance has been assessed by experts who have confirmed that he would be able to sink a lot of piss and entertain people with his belly laughs. Robertson confirmed this, saying “Yeah, fucking oath. I’m an old school rooster.” The former OUSA President said he only Read more...