News

Dunedin has a reputation for being damp and cold because university students are usually only here for the damp, cold part of the year; Dunedin’s shortish summers, falling between December and February, are actually quite pleasant. Every few years, however, they arrive pleasantly early, and so it was during our last meeting with the Proctor for the year, wherein he had the following news:

* End-of-year parties are already getting underway, which sadly has meant a couple of guys have already been admitted to hospital after passing out in the course of being red-carded (i.e. kidnapped by flatmates and forced to drink to excess). Please don’t buy into this system, and never drink more than you can lift.
   * Campus Watch is offering to keep an eye on flats as an anti-burglary measure during the holidays. This is going to have to be an ‘all care, no responsibility’ type of arrangement, but if you’re planning on leaving some furniture or whatever behind over the break, drop into their office and ask them about this fine service.
   * Proctology was founded to capitalise on all the zany, imaginative, hard-case behavior that this institution’s student body are famous for, and has, over the years, mostly demonstrated how ill-deserved that reputation is. Consequently it’s something of a relief to tell you how several staff at Knox College recently arrived at work to find that someone had built a cinderblock wall across one of the access roads. As a rare example of students acting out with a degree of planning, magnanimous foresight (the wall was constructed so that it could be taken apart easily), commitment of time and resources, a lively sense of collegial partisanship, and no alcohol whatsoever, the Proctor couldn’t bring himself to condemn it.
 
   Dumb idea of the week
   People are once again using their laptops to reserve their seats in the library during coffee breaks, pit stops, and booty-calls, with predictable results; three have walked in the last fortnight. Of special note was the girl who blew up at the Campus Cop, insisting that her computer’s disappearance was the fault of the University and that she should be compensated for it. It’s not, so she wasn’t.