Proctology - 27
Posted 1:04am Tuesday 12th October 2010
Dunedin has a reputation for being damp and cold because university students are usually only here for the damp, cold part of the year; Dunedin’s shortish summers, falling between December and February, are actually quite pleasant. Every few years, however, they arrive pleasantly early, and so it Read more...
Proctology - 25
Posted 2:03am Monday 11th October 2010
You may have noticed that a month has passed since the last Proctology. The reason for this is that the Proctor was on a road trip with his mates. They went to Christchurch and got up to no good, causing significant property damage and several injuries and necessitating a civil defence call-out. You Read more...
Proctology - 19
Posted 11:38pm Monday 9th August 2010
he Proctor seemed to be having a bit of a slow week when I interviewed him, but as usual there were a couple of things exercising his mind: * Firstly, there have been “three or four” assaults on campus recently. These have been of the indecent rather than violent variety, although Read more...
Proctology - 17
Posted 11:56pm Sunday 25th July 2010
The Proctor kept me waiting for some time this week while he read a series of grave indictments to some young idiot who had been collared by Campus Watch a few nights ago. When he finally called me in, he noted this guy would probably be on remand if the police had got to him first, and that Read more...
Proctology - 16
Posted 4:00am Tuesday 20th July 2010
Over the holidays, most people either went home for the winter, or gathered in their lounges coming up with urban myths about how cold and disgusting Dunedin is. Hot air about cold weather is as much a part the Otago Student Experience™ as wearing your old school uniform to costume Read more...
Proctology - 13
Posted 8:16pm Sunday 11th July 2010
While sitting in the Proctor’s waiting room this week I couldn’t help overhearing him tell someone that “If you come up here again you’ll be getting a thousand-dollar fine.” That someone then left his office with a cheerful and satisfied expression on her face, indicating once again the Read more...
Proctology - 11
Posted 3:20pm Sunday 11th July 2010
The Proctor was getting ready to attend his granddaughter’s birthday party when I arrived to interview him this week, although he also allowed of his charges that “they’ve gone mad this week”. This might bring to mind visions of hordes of unhinged lunatics rampaging across campus. You have to Read more...
Proctology - 09
Posted 1:21pm Sunday 11th July 2010
I had to spend some time in the Proctor’s waiting room this week, in the company of a trio of young gentlemen who were being hauled in for a discussion about something or other (large-scale white-collar insider trading fraud, by the looks of them). As we whiled away the minutes, one of these Read more...
Proctology - 01
Posted 3:54am Tuesday 18th May 2010
The Proctor is the University official charged with discipline on campus. Behind his genial boys-will-be-boys demeanour and splendid moustache is a very practical and unsentimental man who, for the duration of your enrolment, has more statutory authority over you than any public employee this side Read more...