News

While sitting in the Proctor’s waiting room this week I couldn’t help overhearing him tell someone that “If you come up here again you’ll be getting a thousand-dollar fine.”

That someone then left his office with a cheerful and satisfied expression on her face, indicating once again the Proctor’s rare gift for putting the fear of God into someone without coming across as the bad guy. In his office myself, I didn’t hear what that particular threat was about (confidentiality clauses, etc.), and in fact learned that recent student behaviour had actually been fairly ordinary:
 
• In fact, the big threat recently has come from a group of “local louts” who have apparently taken a flat somewhere near campus for the specific purpose of intimidating, and possibly assaulting, students. No blows have yet been exchanged, but threats have been made, so it may be worth keeping an eye out for yourself over the next wee while.
• Although it’s May, there are still a few flats for whom the novelty value of unsupervised drinking and staying up past bedtime hasn’t quite worn off. We appreciate that there are a lot of people who are just here for the Otago Student Experience™, and we wish them every success on their three-year, $20 000 bender. However, the Proctor would like to remind them that, despite what you see in the ads, this is an institution of learning, and exams are coming up. Please be considerate.
• Car jumping – leaping onto the bonnet of a parked car, bounding over the roof and landing on the other side, with the potential for significant and costly damage to all concerned – is an occasional craze on campus, and resurfaced lately during a party in the quarter. This has been established because the offenders in question did it across the road from a parked police car. Fines ensued.
 
Dumb idea of the week
While collaring that car-jumping nitwit, the police were surprised to see one of his mates copying him – by jumping over the police car. These guys have tasers, you know.