Content Warning: Sexual violence, child sexual abuse, rape, intimate partner violence
Thursdays in Black’s (TiB) ‘What I Was Wearing’ exhibit was held last week, and after an incredibly powerful and confronting walk through, Critic Te Ārohi sat down with a few members of the TiB team to talk about the display.
The exhibit, held in the Main Common Room, involved a series of displays of items of clothing that survivors had been wearing when they were sexually assaulted alongside their stories. The objective behind this exhibition is all in the name, hosted to help dispel the misconception that what a survivor was wearing was a factor in experiencing sexual harm.
Exec member Gizelle explained that TiB really wanted to push the idea that sexual harm can happen to anybody, not just a specific type of person. “It’s therefore a community issue that we all are responsible for trying to prevent,” she explained. Gizelle believes this understanding is growing among the public, and people are beginning to realise that sexual harm isn’t perpetrated by any one isolated group. For Elle, TiB’s co-director, this reality was actually the “worst part” about the stories they received from survivors. The perpetrators are “people’s family members [...] people’s friends”.
Gizelle handled all the submissions for the exhibit, noting that a big part of it had been creating a platform for people to share their stories. Elle agreed, adding that the fact that TiB received so many was “terrible”, but also the team was also so glad that “people have trusted us.” For Elle, the most impactful reaction she’d seen so far was when she and Gizelle took someone through who’d made a submission, understandably feeling pretty nervous. But when Elle checked if there was anything they should change, the survivor just said “‘what you’ve got is really powerful. Thank you so much.’”
After just the first day of the exhibit, Sarah, in charge of social media for TiB, thought they’d already succeeded at making an impact. She told us about a guy who had come into the room to eat his lunch, ended up walking through the exhibit, and came out “quite visibly changed”. Sarah described that experience as heartwarming, and if their goal had been to change perception, they’d really hammered it home for at least one person. Sarah noted that she felt like “you can tell, when people come out on the other side, that they've seen some things.” She also acknowledged that they’d had some distressed reactions, unsurprisingly for such a confronting exhibit.
For survivors worried about coming forward, Gizelle’s message was simple. “I believe you, and you deserve support”. And this support is plentiful at Ōtākou Whakaihu Waka. TiB do a lot more than just this exhibit, such as their ball and karaoke nights, and Gizelle emphasised they aren’t all about “these really intense awareness of sexual harm events. We’re about how to have safe, fun sex – not just terrible, detrimental sex.”
The team also couldn’t “glaze Te Whare Tāwharau enough”, our University’s sexual harm support service. “I think primarily they’re an advocacy service. They'll talk to you, they'll listen to your story, but then they're also able to help you with almost anything that's impacting you. They're able to help with reporting pathways. They’re able to help you access financial assistance. They're able to help you get to food banks, help with your assignments. They will just back you and walk next to you the entire way.”
To those who have had friends disclose sexual harm to them, Gizelle emphasised that the number one thing you can do is believe them. “Treat it like personal injury and not like a crime. It's not your job to be judge, jury, or executioner. It's your job to believe your friend and support them. And you're human; at the end of the day, you can't do everything, but just believing them, hearing them… That's really, really powerful.” Elle added that it's also about long-term support. “Unfortunately, sexual harm does follow you around – so keep being there for them.”
Supporters of survivors can also go to Te Whare Tawhārau, with Gizelle emphasising that “it's really hard to support people [dealing with sexual harm] and you also deserve that help”. If you would like to seek support, you can reach out to Te Whare Tāwharau at tewharetawharau@otago.ac.nz, or call, text, or visit – details are on the Otago University website, along with links to other support systems.
