Greatest Hits / Greatest Shits | Issue 04

Greatest Hits

It was very tempting to award Greatest Hit to John Key for choosing 20 September as the election date, as a few Critic staff were recipients of healthy iPredict payouts (myself included); but in the interest of providing students with something a little better than “should’ve got on the insider trading buzz,” the award goes elsewhere. It’s therefore not the man in blue who gets the prize; it’s the idea of a blue zone. Over the weekend, the Greens proposed that the Government set up a blue zone in Christchurch to allow homeowners of flood-damaged properties to get the hell out. Based on the red zone, the $140 million idea is one that would help the poor citizens of Christchurch deal with this latest setback. Notable mention: the Baywatch-style shot of David Shearer and his dog during Paul Henry’s MP pet therapy segment.

Greatest Shits

It seems it only took two days for the Beehive to kick-start the election drama, and while much of it was shit-worthy, there is one particular instance that undoubtedly takes the Greatest Shit cake: milkgate. It was revealed that Judith Collins, our ever eloquent and graceful Justice Minister, took an “official trip” to China with her husband and had dinner with a few too many Chinese big shots. Costing over $30,000 in taxpayer money, this conflict of interest resulted in a snap debate in the House on Wednesday. Highlights include classic Winston racism and Gareth Hughes insinuating that Collins is “rancid milk.” John Key is “disappointed,” and while at the time of writing Judith has not yet resigned, there is still time.
This article first appeared in Issue 4, 2014.
Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Carys Goodwin.