Alex, a second-year student, formerly known by his peers as ‘Fridge’ has been reduced to being known as ‘Champ’ in a turn of events that resulted in his tenancy being informally terminated at his Castle St flat. This follows a shocking admission, whereby Alex firmly stood behind his stance of DnB being shit.
In a news tip to Critical Tribune, Alex stated that his comment at a Flo-Week host, “I don’t even fuck with DnB that much bro,” perpetuated the flat’s tensions, which ultimately took the form of a “Moses-like exile from Castle St.”
Alex tried to take his former tenants and landlord to the Tenancy Tribunal, only to find that the father of one of his former flatmates had resurrected the corpse of Rob Kardashian and hired Alan Dershowitz in defence of the remaining flatmates. The flat’s legal team communicated to the tribunal that, “If he doesn’t hiss, it’s a classic case of the ‘glove doesn’t fit.’”
Still having to pay rent until “the boys” find a replacement with a suitable appreciation for DnB, Alex expresses concerns that he’ll be paying the rent for the rest of the year. “No one actually likes DnB, everyone else just pretends [...] Fuck, now I’m going to have to live with those wanna be breathas on Harbour Terrace. I may as well egg myself at this point.”
As of print, Alex was last seen anxiously posting on Castle25, advertising his shitty room with the description, “Sunny room, with nine other guys, who are serious about putting their head down to study but enjoy a few social drinks on the weekend. $250 pw."