Culture

It appears I may have been living under a very large antipodean rock my whole life. On a recent trip to Melbourne, it was suggested by my fabulously food-wise Melbournian friend that we go out for some gnocchi. I stared at her quizzically and replied, “what, is that Japanese or something?” Her bewilderment was quickly followed by ridicule as she explained to me that gnocchi is Italian. Whoops. Email me if I’m wrong, but it’s not just me, right? Can I blame this on my South Island upbringing? Or am I just a total loser?
Consequently, that evening I lost my gnocchi virginity and boy oh boy - those Italians are onto something. Gnocchi (pronounced niyock-ee), for those equally clueless, are potato dumplings that are used like pasta. Potato pasta. Jamie Oliver is all about it. To be honest, this does require some forethought but if you are trying really hard to procrastinate and Facebook just isn’t doing it for you, this is an excellent option. I’m sure some of you love kitchen-related satisfaction as much as I do.

 
I was all set to use the Naked Chef’s recipe because he’s awesome and has a super sexy lisp, but it uses all kinds of things I can’t be bothered with including two different types of flour. Fuck that shit. So instead I’m using a recipe from an old issue of Cuisine magazine.

 
Cuisine instructs you to begin by boiling the potatoes, however, Mr Oliver says that this can make the gnocchi soggy and yuck. Instead he suggests baking the potatoes with the skins on, making the insides fluffy and dry. You need about a kilo of potatoes for this; leave them in the oven for about an hour, then peel and mash them.

 
Add two eggs and then, as you mix, slowly add two cups of flour. Mix into a dough and then knead for five minutes or so on a well-floured bench. Ensure your dough is soft and devoid of lumps. On a floured chopping board, roll chunks of dough into long 1.5cm-thick cylinders and then chop into dumpling sized pieces, again about 1.5cm. Press them against a fork so you have indentations from your thumb on one side, and from the fork on the other.
 

Bring a big pot of water to the boil with a heaped teaspoon of salt. Boil the dumplings in batches of about 25 pieces. Have the oven on low so you can keep the cooked batches warm while you do the next one. Cook until they float to the top, then leave for one minute and scoop out with a slotted spoon.
 

Now that you have some perfect baby potato dumplings, the next step is to cover them in something yum and then devour ravenously. We had basil pesto and cashew nuts but there are lots of options. Even some melted butter and a bit of cheese would do. Otherwise just a bog standard bolognese sauce would do the trick. For meat-eaters, a bit of salami or sausage wouldn’t be out of place either. Surely more interesting than budget pasta spirals right?