Culture

Are those late night adventures to the 2-4 not doing it for you? Do their cupcakes feel a little worse for wear? Are you tired of the nacho cheese-chicken cordon bleu combination? Finding yourself wanting something a little more Nigella Lawson or Julia Child? There is nothing more comforting and delicious than a carbohydrate-rich baked good. Of any variety.

If you subscribe to the last-minute model, favour the frequent all-nighter, or live in the deep dark depths of North East Valley, these easy, delicious recipes ought to strike your fancy. Which is to say, Martha Stewart's tedious and lengthy recipes need not apply. What’s more, the recipes are quick enough to warrant eating two-thirds of the raw mixture in one sitting.

Oreo Truffles

Ingredients

1 packet Oreos
150g tub cream cheese
250g chocolate (perhaps use Whittakers peanut butter chocolate to spice things up)

Method

01 | Firstly, seize the opportunity to take out any flatmate hate on the biscuits by crushing them with a hard-edged device. Ludicrously overpriced Kitchenaid appliances would be ideal, of course, but a hefty backhand and a rolling pin will suffice.

02 | Add the tub of cream cheese to the Oreo mixture. Roll into balls.

03 | Meanwhile, put the chocolate in a non-metal bowl, and microwave in 30-second bursts, stirring between each burst. To prevent the tragic splitting that can arise from overheating chocolate, I suggest adding a drop of milk.

04 | Cover the balls of truffle gloriousness evenly with the melted chocolate.

05 | Getting impatient? Simply pop these moreish babies into the fridge for an hour or so, and voila!

10 servings. 1000 calories per ball of goodness

Oreo Cheesecake

Ingredients

2 packets Oreos
3 tbs butter
3 x 250g tubs cream cheese
¾ cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
3 eggs

Method

01 | Pre-heat that dubious flat oven of yours to 180°C.

02 | As in the first recipe, crush the life out of half the Oreos. Putting them in a plastic bag before crushing helps reduce mess. Be sure to close the bag and remove all of the air before striking the biscuits with a rolling pin/Psych textbook. Place the contents in a bowl and add the melted butter. Press the irresistible mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch quiche dish.

03 | Beat the cream cheese, sugar, vanilla and eggs in a bowl. Yes, this recipe does essentially legitimise eating three tubs of cream cheese and two packets of cookies.

04 | Crush the remaining Oreos. Blend half of the biscuits into the mixture, and leave the other half for decorating the cheesecake.

05 | Bake that baby for 45 mins. Cool, refrigerate for at least three hours, then enjoy! Further your passive aggression by giving off mixed messages and offering these treats to those heatpump-over-using freaks you call friends.

Serves 12, or 1, really.