Infant Reincarnated From Dead Breatha, Charged for His Student Loan

Infant Reincarnated From Dead Breatha, Charged for His Student Loan

A Dunedin baby, the world’s first scientifically confirmed reincarnation, has been sent a bill from StudyLink requesting repayment of her past self’s $70,000 student loan. 

In a development that rocked the scientific community, the Otago Medical School confirmed that Katie Liu, born in Dunedin Hospital on March 11, was in fact the reincarnation of Jock Hunter, a breatha who drank himself to death following abuse from the Dunedin News Facebook page. He left behind his grieving parents, two older brothers and a StudyLink student loan of $69,103. 

“We were saddened by Jock’s unpaid student loan– I mean, his tragic death” said StudyLink CEO Max Loughman. “But when we heard that he had been reincarnated, we had to immediately spring into action, and we sent Katie her letter the very next day.” 

He refuted claims of being “heartless,” noting StudyLink had placed the bill inside their baby shower gift, a copy of “The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar”. They also generously offered to deduct loan repayments directly from Katie’s pocket money, paper run pay, and lemonade stand revenue. 

At press time, StudyLink was announcing that dead students who were reincarnated as animals would be milked, skinned, slaughtered or sold as pets.

This article first appeared in Issue 4, 2021.
Posted 3:12pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by The Critical Tribune.