Moaningful Confessions | It's Always the Hot Ones

Moaningful Confessions | It's Always the Hot Ones

It all started during lockdown, ya know when your girl was bored, lonely and especially horny... I was desperate and re-downloaded tinder and started swiping right on everyone, which I must admit was a marginal move from myself. 

Anyway, the weeks dragged on throughout lockdown and I ended up chatting with a couple breathers, adding some on snapchat, sharing some pictures and what not, never actually meeting up with them because I didn't want Aunty Cindy catching me on my walk of shame home. But anyways towards the end of lockdown I matched with one of the hottest guys I have ever set my eyes on (let's call him Ben). He made the first move of sliding into my dms to my surprise. We got chatting right away, exchanging Snapchats. We really, instantly hit it off, which doesn't happen very often these days. 

We kept chatting over lockdown, being a bit flirty here and there, but then lost connection when lockdown ended and I return to good old dunners, which made me a bit sad. I told my friends and we decided to fix it. We would do the most typical thing possible: Get blackout drunk, go to town and get a good old hook up. I dressed myself up in the most basic town girl outfit possible, my Glasson lace bodysuit and the minniest of all miniskirts. After pres in my resident common room, we made the venture to town. By the time I got there, I was like every white girl after 2 cruisers, stumbling all over the footpath. My friends drag me into the Cats line and to my surprise the bouncer lets me in. 

I make my way down the stairs with one thing on my mind... A HOOK UP. I push my way to the mosh, look around and quickly start catching a decent guy's attention (let’s call him George). Not long after catching his eye, he makes his way over to me. We start dancing, kissing and before you know it we are having sex in the male Cats toilets. I know not the best choice to have a cheeky wee route but I was horny ok! We got down and dirty, fast, and he made me feel amazing. I was screaming his name while everyone in the club could probably hear it. He then turns me around and goes down on me which again, I know, not the nicest place to do so, but my god this boy made me feel amazing. It felt like I was cumming every 15 seconds. 

After a while we finish and at that point I truly can’t feel my body. My legs were shaking. He tells me he has to go as he has work in the morning and shit, which made me a bit sad but I couldn’t do much about it. We trade Snapchats and he tells me “You know where to meet me if you want to feel that good again” (aka the Cats bathrooms). Once he’s gone, I decide to try and find my friends and fill them in on the best sex ever so I rush over to the bar and try to find them, however, once at the bar I quickly realise 1. I can't find my friends and 2. I need a shot to try and relax my body. 

As I go to pay for my shot, a guy stops me and offers to pay for it. I turned around and you wouldn't believe who it was! Ben… As in the guy from Tinder! Ben as in the hottest guy I've ever seen and to my surprise he remembered me and instantly started apologizing, telling me he got busy once coming back to Uni but wishes he kept in touch. I just stand there and gaze at him, admire his body, his looks and everything about him. He was much hotter in person. We got chatting straight away and only stopped chatting for a cheeky wee makeout sesh in the mosh, but by this time Cats was closing and I couldn't take him to the bathrooms hehe, so I ended up ditching my friends and going back to his flat. We walked there together chatting about life, truly once again hitting it off. It was like this boy was perfect… perfect boyfriend material. 

We finally get to his flat and make our way to his bedroom and ya know we start to get it on and to say the least it was quite disappointing… this boy had no idea what he was doing and could barely get hard. He didn’t even want to finger me let alone go down on me, which you can all guess was so fucking disappointing. He was so hot but so horrible in bed especially compared to the best sex of my whole life I had a few hours ago. 

He quickly finishes and rolls over to his side of the bed and grabs me in the tightest cuddle possible, which I love and adore, but come on dude you are ticking all the right boxes except for one. He soon passed out. Eventually I realised it was almost 5am and I still couldn’t sleep as I had been left so unsatisfied, so I got up and tried to make my way to the bathroom. 

As I searched for the bathroom door, another door in the corridor opens. To my complete shock and surprise, its GEORGE! As in George from the Cats bathroom, my sex god standing there in his tradie uniform about to head off to work. 

This was probably one of the most awkward moments of my life. He kind of just looked at me with confusion and laughed. I quickly tried to laugh it off like I didn't know him and rushed back to Ben's room. I quickly and quietly grab all my shit and go to bolt out the door and once again I'm greeted by George as I try to sneak out the door he says “I bet that was a bit disappointing, you know where to find me”. I was too embarrassed to say anything so I quickly left and made my way back home. Thankfully I knew where I was and my hall wasn’t too far away. 

Once I finally got home and got some sleep, Ben had started to message me again. Thankfully I was able to lie and tell him I left because I had breakfast plans with my family that morning. Meanwhile, George is also messaging me, teasing me about Ben. 

I haven't seen either of them since. But I want to see both of them because Ben was so HOT and the perfect boyfriend material but he sucks at sex and flats with George who is a literal sex god. So now I ask should I go for George or Ben? Or does anyone know of Ben and George? And lastly do you think I can show my face at Cats again

This article first appeared in Issue 19, 2020.
Posted 9:34pm Thursday 17th September 2020 by Critic.