Top 10 Most Kissable Animals

  1. Moray eels. Swoon! There’s a reason their name sounds like the Latin word for “love”.
  2. What’s more romantic than a trustworthy partner? Kiss a tiger and know that, despite the fact they could horrifically maim or kill you, they’re making out with you instead.
  3. Giraffes have tongues the size of your forearm. Try kissing one for a little extra spice on a rainy day. If the giraffes in your area are acting coy, anteaters offer the same charms.
  4. Plant a smooch directly on an anaconda. You’ll love the smooth texture and they’ll love the warmth they cannot produce themselves.
  5. Don’t rule out a potential beau because they’re not down to kiss on the first date. Wait around on a tropical beach for a sea turtle during their annual egg-laying season and lay your own eggs of romance. Then next year they’ll be ready for kissing—and the wait will be worth it.
  6. Would you hook up with a clone of yourself? Plant a smooch on a baboon and you’ll know for sure.
  7. Fish.
  8. This one is for those with voracious appetites. Next time you hit the town, keep an eye out for your local rat king. Play it cool enough and you’ll be pashing non-stop for months.
  9. You’ve been underestimating the cat that hangs around the flat next door for too long. Shoot your shot and you won’t be disappointed.
  10. There isn’t a single part of a pelican’s mouth you can’t kiss.
This article first appeared in Issue 20, 2019.
Posted 11:04pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Critic.