Inventions Out of Time | Breathing

Inventions Out of Time | Breathing


When it comes to breathing I can not let my personal feelings (Personal Feelings: 3.5/5) get in the way of providing an objective review. I’ll make it very clear: I do not like breathing. I think it is pointless and repetitive and takes too much effort. However, I acknowledge that other people (Other People: 1/5) see breathing differently. Therefore, to be objective (Objectivity: 0/5), I have written a balanced list of the positives and negatives of breathing:



  • The ability to hyperventilate dramatically
  • Feeling refreshed when you’ve been underwater for ages
  • The Welsh language. Welsh is really just someone breathing on you (You, the Reader: 5/5, love-heart emoji)



  • Its unfortunate association with lungfish (Lungfish: 1.5/5)
  • It makes you less sneaky
  • It makes it harder to pretend to be dead
  • Snakes (Snakes: 5/5) don’t like breathing. This is the big one for me
This article first appeared in Issue 18, 2017.
Posted 12:51pm Sunday 6th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin.