Sexcellent | Issue 5

Sexcellent | Issue 5

Hung Like A Field Mouse

Hi S,

I want to make my dick bigger to impress my girlfriend and make sex better for both of us. Can it really be done? And if so, how? I'll give anything a go at this point.

–Chris

Hey Chris,

Like many men before you, you are probably about to be somewhat disappointed. There is one medically-proven device called the Andro that can possibly give you up to 4cm of length permanently, but it does involve wearing a weird splint thingy for hours a day, for months at a time. It's a hell of a lot of work and discomfort, so it's not for the half-hearted, so give it a go if you think you've got what it takes! The other (and far more common) option is using a penis pump, which doesn't actually make your junk bigger indefinitely, it just enlarges the blood cells in the penis, meaning that more blood can get in there when you're sporting a chub, which makes it a bit bigger during erection. Using a penis pump has to be done regularly to maintain the benefits as well, much like lifting weights. The penis pumps available are air pumps and water pumps. With an air pump your mileage may vary, but with a water pump, you are more likely to see results. This is due to the fact that water pumps employ hydraulic technology, giving an even pressure around the penis - whereas with air, the pressure is uneven. This is the reason why water pumps are far more expensive than air pumps, so don't just go for the cheapest air pump - with sex toys, you usually get what you pay for.

If using a penis pump is not your bag, you can always give your girl some internal vaginal plumping cream which will make her feel tighter during sex. This is only a temporary measure and needs to be applied each time. Experimenting with different positions during sex is also a winning option, as certain positions (like her on top) will definitely maximise friction for a smaller tool, while others (such as doggy style and missionary) will be a hell of an effort.

Life does not end without a nine incher though, so rejoice! And get really good with your tongue!

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2016.
Posted 12:38pm Sunday 3rd April 2016 by Sexcellent.