Hi Sexcellent,
I’m in second year and my girlfriend and I have been together since Year 13. She’s awesome and I love her but for the past few months she hasn’t been as interested in sex and I’m feeling a bit hard done by and unloved. How can I get her interested in sex again?
Help!
J Dog
S’up J Dog (if that even is your real name),
You should suck it up and talk to her, in the least whiny way possible. Start with a polite “I’ve noticed you haven’t been feeling very amorous lately my dear, how can we work through this?”
She's probably lost interest for one of the same reasons you might from time-to-time. Here are five things to think about, and to talk to her about if you think it could help:
1. Self-esteem and body image issues.
Often women suffer major distress over their perceived flaws, which lead them into feeling too unsexy and ashamed to bang. Do you compliment her often? It can help her feel more comfortable in the sack.
2. Stress.
Has she had any unusual stress in her life lately? Any study/work/family/friend troubles? Nothing gets in the way of libido more than a dead relative or failing a semester.
3. Lack of attraction to our partner.
Have you changed your personal style much since you got together? Have you possibly grown a huge unkempt lumberjack beard feat. mutton chops and are accessorising with ripped Canterbury pants? These are the questions you need to ask yourself, J Dog.
4. Unhealthy lifestyle/medication.
If she’s been drinking and partying more than usual, or has started taking prescription meds like anti-depressants or a new contraceptive pill, or just plain eating nothing but processed rubbish, then these can all be massive libido-killers.
5. Environment.
Are you a slob? Do you have filthy sheets and dirty plates on the floor in your room? Simply put: is your room the kind of place that a girl wants to be fucking in without a tetanus shot?
Or she could have a low libido at the moment for no reason in particular. Focus on the non-sexual aspects that you love in your relationship, and talk to her about how you feel and what you can do about it.
xx S