Archive

Overheard Ōtepoti

Posted 10:12pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff

Amnesty Youth members in a Law lecture AYO member 1: “Do you think $20 for a joint is reasonable?” AYO member 2: “Yeah, I mean it sounds reasonable. It depends how big the joint is – they can get you really fucked up.” AYO member 1: “Yeah, I’ve never Read more...

We Made A Fanpage for Daniel Leamy

Posted 10:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

With the Tabloid Issue approaching and pitches running somewhat dry, two of Critic Te Ārohi’s most chaotic staff (us) turned to what we do best: shit-stirring. One of us writes horoscopes and the other wrote the love story of the century (Critic Bachelor). Between us, we knew exactly how Read more...

The Legacy of Martin Phillipps

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

.column { float: left; width: 33.33%; } /* Clear floats after the columns */ .row:after { content: ""; display: table; clear: both; } “The Dunedin Sound is the sound of honesty” - Martin Phillipps It’s hard not to write about the Dunedin Sound without Read more...

Sound and Vision: Capturing Dunedin’s Music Scene

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Ellie Bennett

Sweaty, a bit drunk, and surrounded by people who look about twice my height and half my age, I’ve got a headache and my ears are buzzing. My shoes squeak every time I try to unstick them from the floor. I can just about make out the features of the lead singer but the drummer blends into the Read more...

An Inside Look at the Six60 Scholarship: Is it sick-60?

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

6 and 60. Perhaps not everyone's two favourite set of numbers, but nevertheless, undeniably iconic to anyone from Aotearoa who didn’t forget their roots. It’s generally known that this band name came from the flat on Castle Street that the four members started off in (you’ll Read more...

Ranking what native New Zealand birds I could beat in a fight if I were also a bird?

Posted 10:05pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

Evolution has not been kind to the native birds of Aotearoa. Some are small, some flightless, and all pretty vulnerable to introduced pests. To put it lightly, they don’t stand a chance against predators. You know that, I know that. My question is, do they stand a chance against me, Read more...

Critic Wuz Here: There’s a phone number inscribed on your desk and I called it.

Posted 9:44pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

One of God’s greatest gifts is the cell phone because doing this gimmick in a time of payphones would have set me back a lot in coins (where the fuck do you even get coins from now?). As a child I did not focus in class and paid more attention to the writings forever engraved onto the desks at Read more...

Fuck it: Rice Ball Sports

Posted 9:17pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Connor Moffat

Rice balls have always been a lunch staple on campus, and they’re just as versatile as they are iconic. Whether it’s a cheap sit down meal, a snack between lectures, or a surprise dinner after leaving one in your bag all day, rice balls can do it all. Or can they? In a never-before-seen Read more...

The True Cost of Ethical Consumption: A Trial R

Posted 10:17pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Adam Stitely

Inspired by a rewatch of Food, Inc. (2009), the god-given right to shit on Nestlé, and an attempt to offset years of Fatty Lane-sponsored staff meals, Critic Te Ārohi spent five days living as an Ethical Consumer – cutting out anything even vaguely unethically sourced. Despite our Read more...

Locally Produced David Attenboroughs: A Guide

Posted 10:06pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Jodie Evans

Looking for your next Attenborough fix but want something local? Check out the babies of Otago Science Communication grads and alumni. With a cheeky behind-the-scenes “brought to you by” to let you in on the highs and lows of bringing science to the people. If Nina’s editorial is a Read more...

ANIMALS?!?!?!? How to have pets as a student. Kind of.

Posted 9:14pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Tilly Rumball-Smith

Kiwis own more pets per household than almost anyone else in the world, so it comes as a bit of a culture shock to leave that behind for studenthood. Many of us grew up with household pets who, unfortunately, remained in the household when we moved out. Without us realising, our final year of high Read more...

Life Lessons from my Dead Pet Snail

Posted 9:12pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Lotto Ramsay

This is a story about one Snegma “Sneg” Ramsay (Snegory to my parents).  Once a snail fell from the sky and it taught me about love. “Fell from the sky” is a fanciful way of saying that I dropped him by mistake when I found him in my kitchen sink. I thought that he Read more...

Backyard Ecology: A Semi-Scientific Journey into the World of Moss

Posted 9:06pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Isabella Simoni

Bryology: The study of mosses and liverworts Did you know that camels have three testicles? Well, if you did, you’d be wrong – and anyway, this article is about moss. That green stuff that grows on trees, rocks, and those trolls from Frozen. The stuff that goes unnoticed most of the Read more...

Flat Authoritarianism

Posted 11:43pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Ellie Bennett

Flatting is a delicate balance of personalities, habits, and passive aggressiveness. For the first time, you get to experience life free from the watchful eye of parents or RAs – and that usually means 2-minute noodles for every second meal, putting off your washing to the last minute, and, Read more...

The Castle Street Baby

Posted 11:33pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Tilly Rumball-Smith

CW: Violence  Critic Te Ārohi gave a (fake) baby to a five man Castle Street flat to take care of from Thursday to Sunday. There were only three rules:  Don’t lose the baby. You must bring the baby with you everywhere.  You must keep a diary of your adventures Read more...

The Great Cone Game

Posted 10:40pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Connor Moffat

You may have heard of the Chicken Chase, a daring drinking game involving a horde of bros and baes drinking their way along the rainbow (pubs) to find the pot of gold (a mate dressed as a chicken in an undisclosed pub, drinking their way through a collective tab). Critic Te Ārohi played our own Read more...

Tell Us How You Really Feel: 100 Years of Hate Mail

Posted 10:25pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Critic

Critic’s had haters in our inbox right from day dot. Within the first few issues in 1925 there were letters predicting Critic’s downfall. Now in our 100th year, let’s have a toast for the douchebags, assholes, scumbags and jerk-offs who’ve penned objectively hilarious and Read more...

Te Ārohi: A “Critic” in Name Only

Posted 10:05pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

This piece was pitched as ‘100 years of Critic’s Māori coverage’. That would’ve been disingenuous. It’s not a centenary for all of us, because for most of that time, we weren’t here.  One hundred years of Critic, and only twenty-nine of Te Ārohi. Read more...

40 Ways Critic is the Worst Student Magazine in the World

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Critic

40 Ways was Critic’s weekly listicle, popular in the early 2000s and maybe even the 1990s – the halcyon days when men were men, women were women, men were also women, women were also gender constructs, and introductory blurbs were worth reading. Critic is the school lunch programme Read more...

Opinion: Chlöe Swarbrick is still a politician

Posted 10:40pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jordan Irvine

As a child, my parents were Labour voters and to me that seemed like the moral choice. John Key’s National government at the time did not have their best interests at heart as they prioritised wealth over wellbeing. New Zealand First, headed at the time by an old Winston Peters, appealed more Read more...