Archive

Editorial | Issue 05

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Hi. My name is Sam, and I’m not the editor of Critic. Callum Fredric, the real editor, was recently involved in a tragic accident. Mere days after recklessly writing “YOLO” as his official religion on the census, Callum lost both of his miniature hands in a freak alligator-feeding accident. Read more...

Love Online | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...

The Leek | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

A visit to King’s High School to discover more about their new King’s Men’s Society class for developing better men has inspired OUSA to begin providing a program that focuses on developing better party girls. The class, dubbed “Tips for Tricks,” aims to prepare first-year girls for the next three Read more...

Kant Stop Husserling | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Erma Dag

Hegel was one of the most grandiose, self-important philosophers of all time. He believed that he had literally unlocked the secrets of the universe and devised a system for understanding history, politics, morality and human psychology. He inspired thinkers from Marx to Sartre and enraged others Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! In a recent poll of the two guys with me at lunch, less than 50% of them had had a recent STI check despite being sexually active outside of a long-term relationship. I know epidemiology isn’t my strong suit, but I’m fairly sure the results of this incredibly scientific study Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, some extensive travel is involved, and we get a city out of it. 23 March, 1848: After an apparently uneventful three-month journey, the first Scottish settlers arrived in Port Chalmers and founded a city they called Dunedin. The name was derived from the fairly unpronounceable Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Glitter Grrl

I’ve had a couple of people this past week mention feminism and the International Women’s Day to me in angry tones. I couldn’t figure out exactly what was enraging them so – maybe a Jezebel.com moderator replied snarkily to one of their comments – but there’s something in the water, for sure. I’m Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by M and G

Doc has been a campus favourite for a few years now. He first popped onto the scene in 2011 in the garage space underneath Clubs and Socs, after increasing popularity he shifted up Albany next to Rob Roy Dairy, and recently he moved further down George St opposite Knox Church. Doc is known Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

Come young fresher, I’ll let you in on a little secret. The best thing about living in Dunedin actually has nothing to do with Dunedin at all. The real treat lies a bit to the West and a touch to the North of our fine city: the magically hot-in-summer, ski-perfect-in-winter, Lord-of-the-Rings Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Callum Fredric

Rest in peace, bitch. And now, the worst pun of the year to date: Perhaps aware that they'd taken things too far, the ODT published a montage of readers reacting to the pun: BNZ is smashing the glass ceiling, and the ODT's photographer got all the female Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Hannah Twigg

So, we’re a few weeks into the year now, and all of a sudden reality is knocking at the door. How about those assignments? Don’t tell me lies, I know you’ve left it to the last minute to prepare that presentation, and you’ve been up until 3am finishing that essay. So when the going gets tough, what Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Elsie Stone

The first few weeks in a new flat are the absolute best: there’s nothing like a month of endless pillow fort-making, Game of Thrones marathons and flat trips to the Satay Noodle House to give you that warm fuzzy feeling of general happiness and optimism (“Yeah! We are going to do the dishes after Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column is back for another year of shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to a bar and ply them with alcohol and food (in that order), then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds Read more...

Proctology | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Zane Pocock

Proctology kicks off this week with those perennial troublemakers, Campus Watch. After hearing on Police radio that the occupants of an abandoned vehicle were wanted, our Guardian Angels took it upon themselves to look around “just in case they could see them.” They decided to check around some Read more...

Editorial | Issue 04

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Callum Fredric

Themed issues are so 2012. But retro is making a comeback, so welcome to the Fashion Issue. Know what else is in right now? Gay marriage. Parliament just voted in favour of the bill at its second reading. Good for them. I would have voted in favour too. But I can’t help feeling Read more...

Love Online | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...

The Leek | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

An impulse buy at the end of a flat shopping trip at South Dunedin’s Pak ‘n’ Save has left four lucky second-year commerce boys reeling as their Lotto Powerball ticket landed them $20 million last week. The blokes decided to split the cost of a Powerball ticket after one fellow noticed that Read more...

Kant Stop Husserling | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Erma Dag

In case you have not yet had the misfortune to watch it, Harlem Shake is a new worldwide video meme which is TOTES FUNNY OMG. The meme is a series of 30-second clips. Each begins with one person dancing alone (and badly) to an electronic tune. This person is surrounded by people who, instead of Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, the Internet’s ascent hits a milestone, and scientists continue to claim each other’s ideas. 12 March, 1894: In the small and otherwise unassuming city of Vicksburg, Mississippi, Coca-Cola was bottled and sold for the first time. It had originally enjoyed a career as a coca wine, Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! A wise old man (who happens to be my boss so I should probably go back and replace “old” with something less pejorative) once posed the question, “how do you boil a live frog?” Allegedly it’s by slowly turning the heat up. As my wise, devilishly handsome, and incredibly Read more...