Archive

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody! There’s a column that I meant to churn out during our spate of sexual sicknesses, but I’ve been sidetracked by other topics (poo is funny, don’t listen to housewives). This week I was determined to finish off the column about horses and thrush when I saw the ODT article “Therapy Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This is a week of memorable stories, some perhaps more so than others. May 24, 1830: “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” one of probably very few nursery rhymes based on a true story, was first published. Inspired by an incident where a schoolgirl, actually called Mary, took her pet lamb to school with Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Elsie Jacobson

FUCK! Shit shit shit. Ow. Just stubbed my toe. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty clumsy and this happens to me on a regular basis. Swearing is an instinctive reaction to pain, but did you know that it can actually lessen the pain you feel? It’s true – Stephen Fry told me so – and it’s known as Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Elsie Stone

I mostly own a cellphone so that I can play Temple Run in class. (I dare you to beat my high score – I. Fucking. Dare. You.) However, I used to be one of those disgusting pre-teens who measured their self-worth based on how many text messages I could send each month. Nothing made me happier than Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Glitter Grrl

So you’re cool with homos? You’ll fly the rainbow flag? That’s great, but there are a few other colour-combinations that supposedly open-minded people still get hostile about. Why can’t bi people just choose already? Sometimes folk see bisexuality as a kind of “transition” stage, and for Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by M and G

Rating: 4/5 Coffee Cups In the midst of red cards and Otago Graduation mania, M and G found time to pop down to Kiki Beware on George Street to see what they had on offer, since they were both pretty stoked when Kiki migrated from their former faraway location up in Roslyn to Dunedin’s main Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

For those who have never made the quad-burning hike past the town belt, who don’t really understand the concept of suburban Dunedin, or who simply have an aversion to leaving the North Dunedin bubble, I’ll let you in on a delicious little secret. Be warned though; it will change the way you spend Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Jess Cole

High drama abounded in North Dunedin this week when union picketers made the foolhardy decision to protest outside Maccas on Sunday afternoon. Evidently, years of fast food retail had not prepared the protestors for the intense grease cravings that accompany the end of the weekend and, as Read more...

The Leek | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

As this year’s Capping Show season draws to a close, OUSA executives have been forced to reconsider their rules regarding the permissible subject-matter of the numerous and varied sketches dotted throughout the show. Following a volley of complaints from a number of parents, grandparents, faculty Read more...

Bouncing off the Halls | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Thomas Raethel

Our column this week begins with the tale of a young lady of Cumberland Courts. She challenged herself to engage in what Critic will describe as “French kissing” and “heavy petting” while on a night on the town. This, of course, is a game plan to which a sizeable chunk of Otago University’s clutch Read more...

Editorial | Issue 12

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 19th May 2013 by Sam McChesney

Throughout the week, I have been constantly pestered by Frodo*, one of Planet Media’s effervescent account managers, into selling Critic’s contents page to one of his advertising clients. I told him to fuck off, but what Frodo lacks in height, tact, and common sense, he more than makes up for in Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, This week, I want to talk about New Zealand’s Got Talent. Specifically, I want to talk about the odds that the show will actually demonstrate that New Zealand has any talent: bloody shit. Despite the fact nobody talks about pooping, a study by Tarō Gomi showed that Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, fixtures of the modern world are born, and a truly ambitious voyage is undertaken. May 15, 1940: Richard and Maurice McDonald opened their first fast-food restaurant, and probably had no idea that it would end up being such a big deal. A few years later, the guy who sold them their Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Glitter Grrl

It’s time to talk about personal boundaries, and how to navigate them. I promise, consent can be sexy! Why is it okay for a gay guy to slap a girl’s butt, but not me? First of all, it’s not okay for anyone to slap anyone else’s butt if it makes them uncomfortable. If a girl is comfortable Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by M and G

Rating: 4/5 Coffee Cups While sauntering through the mall M and G were drawn to the eclectic hub of Marbecks in Wall Street. After perusing the jazzy selection of music and literature on offer, they decided to hit up the café in the corner, as M had a free coffee to redeem. Marbecks is Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Noel Jhinku

The oceans cover most of the Earth, so arguably it could be called Planet Ocean, right? It contains 99% of the living space on Earth, covers nearly 71% of the planet’s surface, provides about 50% of our oxygen, and gives us 20% of the world’s protein. Yet we’ve explored less than 10% of its Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Elsie Stone

I have two assignments due tomorrow, so naturally I decided to write my column instead. Ha! Fuck you, university. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And the rest of us say FUCK OFF and watch videos of sloths online. I watched one today that had baby sloths getting shaved, lathered in Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

Aramoana is more than just the site of New Zealand’s deadliest criminal shooting (how’s that for a tempting opener?). If you’d like the details of that particularly gruesome and disturbing event, detailing the massacre of 13 Aramoana residents by AN UNEMPLOYED GUN COLLECTOR in 1990, watch the movie Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Jamie Breen

C ritic had only one issue of the odt to work with this week. for some reason, our supply of papers has dried up somewhat in recent days. Perhaps the result of some kind of toilet paper shortage resulting in the emergency redirection of bundles of Dunedin’s second-favourite rag, Critic expects the Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 11

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th May 2013 by Lovebirds

HillaryI knew when my date didn’t want to stay to finish the bar tab that things hadn’t gone well – but I figured that, since I had endured well over an hour of his appalling chat and pointless conversation, I might as well make the most of the free drinks and drown my sorrows. He had told Read more...