Archive

Vape Review | A.N.Z.A.A.C

Posted 6:23pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

Believe it or not, I am somewhat of a patriot. At least when it comes to biscuits. I have tried multiple Anzac flavoured vape juices, and I can honestly say that none have come as close to what Vapourium offers. I think this one has done our fallen soldiers proud, boys. Before you go out and Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Issue 5

Posted 6:20pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

Last summer, I did what any bored and horny gal does and tried to get validation from random Tinder guys. I swiped on a dude who seemed pretty cute, but a bit of a shit cunt - just my type. We talked for a bit and then decided to go out for a cheeky afternoon drink. After a few too many beers and Read more...

Horoscope | Issue 5

Posted 6:19pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Your chakras align this week as you realise it’s time for a personality adjustment. And to buy a meal that isn’t Maggi noodles. Your childhood TV show to watch this week: Caillou the annoying bald fucker   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Water Read more...

Just the Tip | Issue 5

Posted 5:55pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

Want to deal with a dick flatmate, problems with your studies, or want tips on how to woo your latest Tinder match? Your anonymous concerns will be addressed by a panel of Critic's life coaches. The Virgin Sappho, 2nd Year I. Need. A gf. I’ve tried several dating apps, I’ve Read more...

Editorial: R.I.P. Blind Date

Posted 9:50am Monday 16th March 2020 by Sinead Gill

From this week onward, there will be no more Critic Blind Date. I know. You’re all going to be fucking gutted. In a way, so am I – no editor relishes cutting institutions from the magazine. But this had to be done. Critic cannot 100 percent guarantee your safety on the blind date, Read more...

Booze Reviews | Dirty Double Brown & Sunshine

Posted 12:42pm Saturday 14th March 2020 by VirGINia Woolf-it-down

St Patrick’s day is upon us. It would be rude not to give you some relevant cocktails for a filthy Tuesday on the piss. Dirty Double Brown -       30ml whiskey -       15mls Read more...

Vape Review

Posted 12:39pm Saturday 14th March 2020 by Nicki O'Teen

If you want an inoffensive vaping experience, then the Ice Cucumber is the flavour for you. It literally just tastes like cool air with a sweet afterbirth. Ice Cucumber is only 2.5% strength, so it doesn’t leave you with the pairing of burning lungs and self-deprecating thoughts. This flavour Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Issue 4

Posted 6:43pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Critic

I don’t know what the place is called, but if you walk up that fuck off hill from Arana – up past the cemetery and to the top of where the botans begin/ends – there is this field. I drive past it all the time to get to the supermarket without having to deal with all the traffic on Read more...

Horoscope | Issue 4

Posted 6:40pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Please stop asking people to go out tonight. Don’t you have more important things to do? Especially on a Sunday. That’s the Lord’s day. What you smell like this week: Desperation.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s your last Read more...

Bone Apple Teeth: Avo and Chicken Rice Balls

Posted 6:35pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Caroline Moratti

Recently we resolved that we would become much better people and start bringing a packed lunch to Uni. Where better to start than rice balls, the food so many students already consume with unrestrained financial passion? Since they are now a devastating $4.70 at St. Dave’s, it seemed there was Read more...