Moaningful Confessions | Is the gag reflex mental? No, here’s the proof

Posted 2:39pm Monday 16th August 2021 by Critic

I had moved into a flat after living with my ex whose name for the story shall be Luke. My flattie and I were downing gin and juice while playing board games having a grand ol’ time. Once she carked it in bed, I thought “this is a perfect opportunity to sneak around to my ex’s Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Sandy Cheeks

Posted 2:39am Monday 9th August 2021 by Critic

Once upon a summer's day, a beautiful princess was finishing her last exam. Her (not really) Prince Charming was waiting outside the exam room with a cup of tea, a packed lunch and his noble steed, a Toyota people-mover with amazing fuel economy. It had been a couple of lonely days with the exam Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Requires A-cyst-ance

Posted 6:46pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Critic

Journey back with me to fresher year. I’d heard about the joy of living next to a Uni campus and shoving Tinder on less than 2km, but I was yet to experience it first-hand until that fateful night. It was exam season so I was ready for some classic D-stressing. After a few slightly above Read more...

Dunedin Hospital Doesn’t Want to Watch Haywardians Shag

Posted 1:32am Saturday 31st July 2021 by Fox Meyer

The Paediatric wing of Dunedin Hospital has clear views into Hayward College. Disaster was inevitable. A request from the Children’s Unit at Dunedin Hospital called for Hayward residents to “please close your curtains,” especially during “certain naked activities at Read more...

Mother I’d Like to Fathom: The MILF Conundrum

Posted 5:28pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Asia Martusia King

May 19 2003 should be a national holiday. Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne was released and the MILF was born. But, what defines a MILF? The dictionary definition, if Merriam-Webster had the balls, would be “mother I’d like to fuck”. A hot woman with kids. A yummy mummy. Oh, Read more...

Sexual Awakenings and The On-Screen Characters That Inspired Them

Posted 5:25pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Fox Meyer

Embarrassing to some, enlightening to many, the moment of sexual awakening is an almost universal experience. For many of us, our first crush was from a show or a film, and often defied logic in every way. Some people were turned on by turtles. Some by women old enough to be their mum. Critic Read more...

A pai mai ki te mārama, Bring it into the light: Approaching the taboo of sex in Pasifika cultures

Posted 5:34pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Susana Jones

“Kissy kissy, huggy huggy, but no fucky fucky.” My strong, brown mum’s words echo through the empty depths of my brain as she sends me off to Dunedin from Auckland at the prime age of 17. For all I can remember, this is the complete extent of my at-home education about sex, Read more...

Where were you conceived?

Posted 5:38pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Critic

You can tell a lot about a person based on where they cum from. Go through these questions and select as many answers as you feel apply to you, and then total the score. For example, if answers 1, 2, and 4 applied to you, you’d score 7 for that question. Get out your calculator, and Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 5:54pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Sasha Freeman

Rate Making out. I think it’s a dead romance! I love just lazily making out with someone all morning. Beautiful stuff.  People who ASK if they can choke you. WAY better than just randomly being near-suffocated in the Subs bathrooms with no warning. Those boxers that have a little Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Derry Dick

Posted 6:05pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Critic

It was a typical evening on Grindr. Not much was happening. I was being sent a few unsolicited dick pics y'know, just the standard scrolling and sending boring messages. My ex had broken up with me recently, so at this stage of my life I was near rock bottom.  I started talking to a Read more...

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