Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 7:24am Sunday 6th October 2024 by Critic

Aquarius It's time for a new hairstyle. Try a reverse mohawk or going smurf blue. A change of appearance will bring a new lust for life that you have truly been lacking lately. Your friends have been comparing you to sadness from Inside Out and that is just not good enough. Chance of finding Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 24

Posted 4:43pm Saturday 28th September 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You need to take a break from energy drinks for a week. If you could afford to go to the doctor they would tell you the same. Your resting heart rate is higher than a rabbit’s during sex, which is saying a lot because they fuck fast. Lucky charm: The little rat tail at the nape of Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 23

Posted 8:31pm Sunday 22nd September 2024 by Critic Staff

Aquarius Uranus is in retrograde, so throw all your material possessions into the nearest body of water and sit in the corner of your room like Gollum. This is the best way for an Aquarius to connect with their inner child to heal the trauma of losing your MP3 player on Boxing Day 2006. Book Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 20

Posted 6:37pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Taking a break from reality can sometimes do more good than harm, so absolutely check out this week. Be the personification of lights on, no one home. You may regret it next month, but you can claw yourself out of that pit when you come to it. Late-night side quest: Eat gummy vitamins and Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 4:25pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Critic

Aquarius The moon is screaming at you to avoid toxic friends. Now is the perfect time of the year to cut your circle down to those you actually want to be around. No point in feeding a plant you think is ugly and smells funny. Art to make: A new collaged laptop screensaver Pisces Summer Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 18

Posted 10:45pm Saturday 10th August 2024 by Nina Brown

Aquarius Mending your turbulent friendships will bring you a lot of peace this week. You may have just stocked up on your anti-anxiety meds but your dependency will go down. Market your SSRIs to your friends as Percocets. Lucky (Lotto) Numbers: 3, 11, 12, 17, 19, 20 Pisces Before going grocery Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 7:38pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You can’t always be the boss of everyone. Use this week to relax and let things play out naturally. Letting go can cause even more stress but once you push through it's nice to not have to be a team carrier all the time.  OOTD’s finishing touch: A tote Read more...

Why the Pisces Moon Might Be Fucking With You

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Sophia Carter Peters

These past few weeks we have been experiencing a Pisces moon. For those unfamiliar with astrology, Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) is a sign commonly associated with empathy, impressionability, white wine, creativity, and emotional fragility. Basically, they’re weak ass bitches. We knew Read more...