Cookin' Up Love | Issue 7

Posted 1:38pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

If You’re Looking to Get Fucked up and Start a Fight with a Lamppost, Billy Mavs Are the Way to Go.

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

If that douchebag that dropped out of your high school in year 11, wears a Monster Energy trucker cap everywhere, has ‘tribal’ tattoos despite being whiter than John Key in a snowstorm, and whose Facebook profile picture is a lowered Hilux, were an alcoholic drink, he would be a Billy Read more...

David Clark | Issue 6

Posted 11:07am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by David Clark

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Ethel & Hyde | Issue 6

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethyl and Hyde,  I’ve just been diagnosed with Celiac Disease but I can’t afford gluten free food. - Rice Cake   Ethel and Hyde is brought to you by the Student Support Centre. They advise you to take Ethel’s advice. Send your questions Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 6

Posted 11:22am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT’s sensationalist fear-mongering is running strong. We at ODT Watch are highly anticipating the chlorinated staplers, rubber bands, rulers and paper clips that “all supplies” surely includes. However, it could be that the ODT are just pre-empting the Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 6

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Zack became a Zombie during the first global outbreak when he was thirteen, and was now twenty-six. Those who were infected had since been rehabilitated, but their bodies never fully recovered. The Z-word was considered offensive from then on. One day Zack was eating alone in the park by the Read more...

Anei a Ngāti Scarfie

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Pororangi Templeton

Kia ora koutou katoa,  We are Te Roopū Māori (TRM), your Māori student voice on campus. We started off the uni year in Ngāti Scarfie style. Wiki-O was a chance for our first year tauira to initiate themselves into our campus whānau. Our events included lazer tag, Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 6

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Ben Cravens

Whether it’s from tea, coffee, energy drinks, or a square of chocolate, just about everyone gets their morning pick me up from caffeine. But caffeine isn’t entirely benign. I missed my morning coffee today and already feel a host of the normal withdrawal symptoms that go along with Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 6

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Wee Doubt

Elliot Castro was a telemarketer who dreamed of better things. He told journalist Jon Ronson that he “always wanted to be better.” He discovered while working his loathed job cold-calling strangers that he could tell the person on the phone that their card had been referred to the credit Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 6

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...