Booze Review: Jam Shed Shiraz

Posted 4:18pm Monday 13th October 2025 by Joan of Rark

Hello team, Joan here. I would just like to take a moment to point out (not that it hasn't been mentioned by every other bastard in the twenty something pages you went through to get here) it is the last issue for 2025. With that comes some sad goodbyes, particularly Miss Boss Lady, Nina Read more...

Booze Review: Franky’s Lemon Crush & Cola Lime

Posted 10:32pm Saturday 4th October 2025 by Joan of Rark

At this point in the year I’m struggling to think of booze I haven’t yet reviewed, so I’ve taken to perusing the aisles of Leith Liquor and squinting at the shelves to see if anything’s unfamiliar. And well well well, what do we have here? New-to-the-scene Franky’s, yet Read more...

Booze Review: Gin Tasting

Posted 12:40am Monday 29th September 2025 by Gin Swigmore

Everyone has one type of alcohol that induces an experience so vile they simply cannot look at the drink again. Mine is gin. Whenever I think of it, I think of that time I drank enough pink gin to put me gently to sleep on a friend’s bathroom floor. But regardless, it was Saturday and I wanted Read more...

Booze Review: Great Northerns

Posted 6:32pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Joan of Rark

G’day cunts and cuntesses, shrimp on the barbie and all that. This week's booze reviews is Great Northerns, the official beer of drink driving to K’gari in your old man's ex mine 70 series landcruiser. But it's okay, ‘cos it’s not like driving on the beach at low Read more...

Booze Review: Cola Cruisers

Posted 5:44pm Sunday 7th September 2025 by Joan of Rark

They finally did it. The company who could at this point trademark the term “lolly water” have circled back to the original lolly water: Cola.  Whilst this stuff is not their first dabble into cola flavours, with cherry cola and vanilla cola being other flavour options, it took Read more...

Booze Review: Wild Boar Bourbon & Cola

Posted 10:38pm Sunday 24th August 2025 by Gin Swigmore

I drank Wild Boar Bourbon and Cola while playing a 1983 version of Trivial Pursuit. Half of the questions were about the Soviet Union. Fitting. Like oil and water, bourbon and communism just don’t mix. Drinking Wild Boar makes you feel like you’d be complicit in the Red Scare. The drink Read more...

Booze Review: Thunderdonk Salted Caramel Whisky

Posted 12:00am Monday 18th August 2025 by Gin Swigmore

Whisky is stoic as fuck. Four fingering a whisky glass makes you feel like a wise and mysterious cowboy – a cowboy that has just silenced a saloon with their presence after spending all day contemplating and riding off into the sunset. Drinking Thunderdonk makes you a mysterious and curious Read more...

Booze Review: Saints & Sinners

Posted 9:44pm Sunday 10th August 2025 by Joan of Rark

What is good! This week's booze review was kindly brought to you by me wanting to intentionally get another mockable beverage so you lot don’t think I’m an alcoholic.  Saints & Sinners are a rather funky duo of vodka soda and guarana extract. They’re available in Read more...

Booze Reviews: Coast Road Creamery Chocolate Cream Liqueur

Posted 7:38pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Joan of Rark

And with that, the streak has ended. We have finally found a boozy number I would never like to see again, much like high school calculus (good riddance).  This dirty fuck of a drink is supposedly wine based. Judging by the taste it's a red – not in a ‘nicely locked in Read more...

Booze Review: Orchard Storm Crush’d Cider

Posted 5:56pm Saturday 26th July 2025 by Joan of Rark

Dropping sometime around the end of last year, newcomer Orchard Storm Crush’d Ciders are another solid bev proving my theory that they’re making alcohol taste even better to keep everyone drunk and stop societal progress, à la the Kraggle from The Lego Movie or like half the Read more...