Booze Reviews | Jameson Irish Whiskey

Posted 3:07pm Sunday 20th March 2022

This St Paddy’s day I was on a diet, so I bought a bottle of Jameson whiskey instead of beer. Instead of standing around in near darkness and hating our lives, a group of us decided to go for an expedition to the reservoir for a change in scenery. I did not want to be lugging around a glass Read more...

Booze Reviews | Carlsberg Elephant Extra Strong

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 13th March 2022

Picture this: your fuck-up of a flatmate got Covid so now you have to isolate with two people you can barely stand for at least 10 days with no chance of distraction or escape. What do you do? How do you get along with flatmates that you hate? The answer, I found, was to drink 10.5% Elephant Read more...

Booze Reviews | Ranfurly Draught

Posted 5:20pm Sunday 6th March 2022

Long ago, in a simpler time, a time of carefree binge drinking uninterrupted by lockdowns, there existed the greatest beers ever to be brewed: Southern Golds. They were a humble beverage, with a quiet but confident air that reassured you as you grasped their beautiful golden exterior that, in the Read more...

Booze Reviews | Tui 7.2% Strong Lager

Posted 4:06pm Sunday 27th February 2022

Tui has done it again. Earlier, with their standard lager, the brewery perfectly captured the taste of a minor fuck-up, a small leak in the life-boat, a failure to look both ways at a railway crossing, a sneaky look down the barrel of a firework to see why it isn’t working.  But now, Read more...

Booze Reviews | Nitro XXX Vodka Guarana Liqueur

Posted 12:31am Saturday 2nd October 2021

Nitro has always been at the forefront of binge-drinking innovation, but this time they have gone too far. Nitro Vodka Guarana Liqueur hits the shelves this week, and it is dangerous. The drink comes in a 500mL spirit bottle, contains large quantities of caffeine and guarana, and is 30% ABV. It Read more...

Corona Extra

Posted 3:48pm Monday 20th September 2021

The first time I ever had a beer, it was a Corona. My dad handed it to me, looked me dead in the eyes and said: “This is a Corona boy. Don’t take your Coronas to a party, son, leave them at home for pre’s.” All my life I heeded his words. Every time I bought Coronas, I Read more...

Booze Reviews | White Wine

Posted 3:47pm Sunday 5th September 2021

Now of course, white wine is a pretty broad category. But there’s a reason I’m not distinguishing sauvignon wanc and presling. There is simply no way I am going to review every slight fucking variation of white wine especially considering that there are hundreds of wineries for each Read more...

Mixer Review

Posted 3:20pm Sunday 22nd August 2021

Mixers are the unsung heroes of alcohol, the pleasure to balance the pain of spirits. Anything can be a mixer if you’re brave enough, but I really did have to narrow down the selection to only the most practical options. Rather than going through every type of soft drink and fruit juice, I Read more...

Booze Reviews | NZ Lager

Posted 2:32am Monday 9th August 2021

NZ lager is without a doubt one of the most reliable drinks in Aotearoa. Like a plank of four by two, a per capita medal tally, and a piece of number eight wire, it represents the robust, old NZ that may still exist but has been obscured by metropolitan ideals. The can is black, the colour of the Read more...

Kingfisher Lager

Posted 5:57pm Sunday 25th July 2021

I consumed Kingfisher after an incredibly dusty Thursday in Re-O Week. As I perused the selection at Leith Liquor, I could think only of the inevitable pain that another box would bring me, and the horrors of Dunedin drinking culture which had led me to this point. I had only tried Kingfisher once Read more...