UoO Moaningful Confessions | The British Brunette in Bali

Posted 11:05pm Thursday 5th September 2019

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     On the way home from one of my frequent trips to Indonesia, my friends were travelling on to a different country and I had about 8 hours to kill between Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 22

Posted 10:57pm Thursday 5th September 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Don’t forget to wash your bits. This week’s URL to masturbate to: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/10401685/   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Mum always told you that you’d find the person you’d marry at uni, but it’s Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Sharon and Ozzy

Posted 10:33pm Thursday 5th September 2019

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email blinddate@critic.co.nz     Sharon Running late from dying my hair blue and my hands looking Read more...

Get Fucked: The Great Critic Contraceptive Review

Posted 11:25pm Thursday 29th August 2019

As we all know, uni is a great time for experimenting with your junk, and the junk of other people. The best way to get your start in a career before ruining your life with kids is to use contraception religiously, so here are our thoughts on some of the more popular contraceptives out Read more...

Close Encounters of the Bird Kind

Posted 11:15pm Thursday 29th August 2019

When Critic gets invited somewhere with the promise of free food and VIP treatment, it’s fuckin’ on. We gleefully headed out to the Otago Peninsula to see some albatross on a drizzly Saturday, which turned out to be a truly magical day of colonialism, petty theft, and cool bird Read more...

Top 10 Things You Could Have Done Over Mid-Semester Break if Your Life Was More Together

Posted 10:46pm Thursday 29th August 2019

1. Masturbate. For the entire time. 2. Catch up on those assignments you've been avoiding. 3. Catch up on all of that weed you could have been smoking. 4. Snoop through your flatmates’ bedrooms while they're at home for the week. 5. Roam around campus. Soak in the Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | The Room

Posted 10:45pm Thursday 29th August 2019

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     To set the scene. I had installed Tinder and had trouble building momentum for the first few weeks. All the guys seemed to be the same breather, dropping Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 21

Posted 10:30pm Thursday 29th August 2019

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Stand in the lounge facing the flatmate you hate the most. Hold your hands up, make them mirror your actions. Start weeping, break the distance, hold them close. This week’s lunchbox trade: Blue Moosie   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 No wonder Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Aristotle and Plato

Posted 10:14pm Thursday 29th August 2019

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email blinddate@critic.co.nz     Aristotle My night started off with my two (female) friends blasting Read more...

Top 10 Most Kissable Animals

Posted 11:04pm Saturday 17th August 2019

Moray eels. Swoon! There’s a reason their name sounds like the Latin word for “love”. What’s more romantic than a trustworthy partner? Kiss a tiger and know that, despite the fact they could horrifically maim or kill you, they’re making out with you Read more...