Sports

What if Nadzeya Ostapchuk is innocent?

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

We knew it all along, didn't we? That hideous she-beast from the wilds of Belarus could never beat “our Val” without cheating. They're all cheats over there, aren't they? Bloody communists. She looks like a man! She’s a filthy cheat! Ban her for life! And so on. It seems like everything just Read more...

Sharks almost win, Eels slightly better

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

Hayden Parker will never have to pay for another beer at the Taieri Rugby Club after he kicked the Eels to a show-stopping victory in the Premier club rugby final last Saturday. Parker’s 47-metre penalty with time up on the Forsyth Barr Stadium clock capped off a 24-22 comeback victory, sealing his Read more...

Rugby Analysis

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Mavis Shamwell

I’ll start with the names: “Eels” and “Sharks”. We all know that in the animal kingdom this would be an unfair fight, but in the Club Rugby finals it seemed like a pretty even match. This made it difficult for me to decide who to support (my usual rule is to go for the underdog). That said, the Read more...

Religion in Sport? No Way.

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

Religion is everywhere in sport. If you watch any sport at all, it’s impossible to avoid seeing someone thank the big man upstairs for letting them make all the people they have beaten feel like shit. Luckily in New Zealand we like to keep it to a minimum, and thankfully when a prominent Read more...

Greg goes to The New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Greg Hall

Something new on your sporting pages this week. For a change of pace, Critic sent the bravest and most hirsute reporter we could find on the most dangerous assignment we could dream up. Faux-Geordie reporter Greg Hall was instructed to stake out the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame, examine some Read more...

Girls Get Down And Derby

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

Roller derby is the marmite of sports: you either love it or you don't. There are no half-measures when it comes to roller derby. Those who love it are obsessed with it. It takes over their lives and the lives of their families. People who don't really couldn't give a shit. I’m not ashamed to Read more...

What is a Sport (Part 2)

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Gus Gawn

So here goes. First, I would like to say that this is a completely thankless task. This debate will never be decided, and no amount of emotive vitriol or ascerbic wit will bring us any closer. They only thing we can hope for is to be dragged entertainingly off-topic by some interesting thoughts and Read more...

What is a Sport (Part 1)

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

Rowing is not a sport. Neither is cycling. In fact, most of the events at the 2012 Olympics are not sports. And most of the ones that are sports don’t belong at the Olympics. Sometimes the dictionary definition of a word just doesn’t cut it. According to the ivory-tower intellectuals who Read more...

Sexuality in sports

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Gus Gawn

I have to admit that I was a little nervous writing this article. Not because of what people will think, but because I am certain that I am bound to offend someone in some way. I am mindful that there might be a bit of a “poking your uneducated nose into something that doesn't really concern you” Read more...

Caden Shields

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Gus Gawn

Caden Shields might not be at the Olympic level just yet but it seems he's on the fast track. The Dunedin-raised physiotherapy student has recently returned from a scholarship at Purdue University in Indiana, where he competed for the “Boilermakers” in long-distance running events and found his Read more...