Last week, Critic received an anonymous tip from someone claiming to be “member of the student community” about a certain “hack” (crime) that allowed people to get Victorian Bitters (VBs) beers for free from Countdown. A week after exposing this “hack” (crime), however, people are still Free-B-ing without consequences.
This “hack” (crime) involves using the self-checkout scanner at a Countdown supermarket and, instead of scanning the drinks using the barcode on the plastic wrap, scanning a barcode on the glass bottle itself.
There was much conversation in the Critic office as to whether or not we should publish this information. On the one hand, we didn’t want students to try this “hack” (crime) and get in the shit. On the other hand, we determined that by publishing and making it public would mean that people are less likely to commit the theft, so we were like bootlicking and less likely to be dragged by young boomers.
BUT IT WAS FOR NOUGHT. A week after publishing, and Free-Bs are still a thing you can get away with. We sent an undercover agent to Countdown and they successfully “hacked” (crimed) the self-checkout. They called on the self-checkout supervisor on shift and pointed it out, only to be told “oh, yeah, that happens all the time,” and then re-scanned the beer properly.
For legal reasons this article is satire.