Otago has $41.7 million to spend

Otago has $41.7 million to spend

That is a lot of fucking money

The University of Otago reported a surplus of $41.7 million in last week’s University Council meeting.

Things the University could buy with $41.7 million include:


$3 lunches for every Otago student for two years.

83.4 million Chupa-Chups.

Tom Hanks’ medical bills for the best private hospital available.

Pornhub premium for everyone in New Zealand over the age of 18.

6,052,249 30g pouches of Port Royal.

A central Otago ghost town.

The chance to spend a night with Critic Culture Editor, Caroline Moratti.

34,750,000 individual McDonald’s whipped butter.

The Art History department.

A better hotel for The Bachelorette (NZ) contestants to stay in.

5,004,000 joints of weed.

The website Tumblr, 25 times.

A really really nice Mother’s Day present for your mum.

Ad-free Critic for 119 years.

10,000,000 Boss coffee cans.

5,212,500 large Frankly Sandwiches (if purchased in 2018).

3,971,429 large Frankly Sandwiches (if purchased in 2020).

The copyright to Pusheen the cat.

The budget for Dragonball Evolution (2009).

Charlie O’Mannin’s dignity.

Private investigator surveillance of exactly ten people for 95 years.

Rent for 660 Castle Street for 231,666 years (assuming no increases since 2020).

93,333 AirPod Pros.

403,846 Harry Styles lifesize cardboard cut-outs.

89,323 NZ Citizenship applications.

270,000 million Tinder Gold subscriptions.

41.7 million frozen cokes from Maccas.

278,000 Russian visa applications.

2.5 million Critic tote bags.

25,752 Individual OUSA Election campaign budgets.
926,666 Caliburn vapes.

468,539 Karen Walker face masks.

41,700 bribes for District Court judges for drink driving charges (approximate determined by Critic according to our own experiences).

1,345,595 coffins of Billy Mavs.

This article first appeared in Issue 4, 2020.
Posted 3:06pm Sunday 15th March 2020 by Critic.